Expert reviewed by Caroline Morris, Head Sleep Coach at Sleep4Littles
I didn't have my own room until my second year of college. As the oldest of six, sharing a room was just part of the deal. I shared a room throughout my childhood, sometimes switching between rooms or even bunking up with more than one sibling. Sure, I often wished for my own space and privacy or got annoyed when my sisters messed up our space (I'm a bit of a neat freak). But despite that, we also had plenty of amazing, really fun moments – late-night pillow talks, sleepovers on the floor, and homemade forts with our stuffed animals and dolls.
Looking back, I cherish those moments and recognize the special bond siblings develop when they have a shared room. So naturally, I want my kids to experience it too. I knew it wouldn't always be easy, so I've consulted with Caroline Morris, Head Sleep Coach at Sleep4Littles, for expert advice on making room sharing successful for both kids and parents. Here are some tips to make it work.
What age is best for room sharing?
According to Caroline, there isn't a specific age that's best for room sharing. Instead, success depends on each child's ability to sleep independently. For twins who share a space, make sure to keep similar schedules. If you’re planning on pairing up two children of different ages, make sure the older kid has a full understanding of room sharing. “Change can be hard on older ones especially if their room is being “invaded” by a little sibling,” Caroline explains.
How to prepare siblings for room sharing
The most important aspect is preparing for room sharing, especially if it's a change from the norm. Caroline suggests starting preparation a few days or weeks beforehand. This could involve role playing and describing what this new change will look like. You can outline the new routine and start discussing rules and boundaries.
Some other expert-approved ways to prepare:
- Taking your kids on a little room tour, showing them what sharing a room will look like in their new space.
- Involving your kids in the process, and having them pick out new bedding, stuffed animals, or adding a few new books to their bedroom library.
- Enlist the help of family members, who can hype up having a roommate and sharing the space to get them excited for the change.
Establishing rules and boundaries
When it comes to room sharing, Caroline suggests setting clear boundaries right from the start. Some rules and boundaries include:
- No climbing into beds other than your own
- No rough housing between beds
- No getting out of bed in the middle of the night
- Stay in bed until morning wake up
- Keep your bed and space tidy
Managing sleep schedules
To make room sharing easier, Caroline suggests aligning the kids' bedtime schedules and routines. If you have a younger child, try putting them to bed first after a shared bedtime routine. For two kids who nap, it can be a bit tricky, so you can either coordinate naptime or stagger them.
How do you manage different bedtime routines?
Caroline suggests combining the kids' routines as much as possible. Try having bath time together or let the older child help the younger sibling with tasks like picking out pajamas or reading a bedtime story. This allows for extra time for the older sibling and encourages independence and keeps them away from screen time before bed. Over time, their routines will likely sync up, making bedtime smoother for everyone.
Potential challenges with room sharing
Sharing a room can be a fantastic adventure for kids, but it's not without its hurdles. Nicole explains that as kids age, squabbles over space or drastically different bedtime habits can put a dent in room sharing. Plus, if you have a child who is a light sleeper, well, that's a whole other challenge. Setting clear boundaries and expectations with young children is the key to making it work.
When room sharing does not work
Sometimes, room sharing just doesn't work out for kiddos. If you've tried everything and your kids still can't sleep, and it's messing up their daytime behavior and routines, it might be a sign that room sharing isn't right for them at this stage. It doesn't mean it will never work, just that it might not be the best fit right now. Before deciding, consider getting advice from a sleep coach to make sure you've explored all of your options.
While room sharing is a fantastic way to strengthen sibling bonding, it doesn't work for every family. Don’t feel bad if it doesn’t. You can always enlist the help of a sleep specialist to ensure everyone has an opportunity for great sleep.
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Being a working mom is hard. Maintaining a work-life balance is even harder. I hope that at least a few of the tips in this post can help you achieve the fulfillment you’re striving for.
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Featured image by Julia Pavaliuk
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