What if you and your partner could go from financial friction to a shared vision for your future, without the stress, spreadsheets, and awkward money fights? In this episode of The New Modern Mom Podcast: Toolkit Series I sit down with my husband Jason for a candid, behind-the-scenes conversation on how we align on money goals while balancing careers, kids, and big dreams.
Whether you’re dreaming of retiring early, taking a year-long sabbatical, or simply feeling more in control of your finances, this episode gives you a clear, actionable blueprint for having those big money talks with your partner, without it turning into an argument. You’ll hear exactly how we turned very different spending philosophies into a unified plan that funds both of our long-term goals and lifestyle.
You’ll also learn how we designed our own “Money Date,” a strategic and intentional way to sit down with your partner, align on financial priorities, and map out your shared path to financial freedom. We share what worked, what didn’t, and how we’ve adjusted our plan to keep life joyful while staying on track for our goals.
This episode is perfect for moms searching for:
→ How to align financial goals with your partner
→ Money conversation tips for couples
→ Simple financial planning tools for busy parents
→ Budgeting strategies for working moms
→ How to save for family travel and big goals
→ Investing basics for dual-income families
Listen now and walk away with a few small shifts that’ll make a big difference.
💬 Defining financial freedom as a couple
Before you can plan your financial future, you have to define what “freedom” actually looks like for both of you. Jason shares why your personal definition matters more than any one-size-fits-all advice, and how clarity on your vision drives every decision.
“Financial freedom can be different to different people. I see it as a lifestyle and an investment plan with the goal of gaining financial independence or retiring early. And that doesn't necessarily mean you stop working, but it means it gives you the freedom to choose to do what you love. Maybe that means working for yourself, or that means not being reliant on others.” -Jason Mighdoll
🔥 A realistic take on the FIRE movement
The FIRE movement—Financial Independence, Retire Early—has gained traction, but it’s not for everyone in its purest form. We explore how to adapt its principles in a way that balances your current lifestyle with long-term security.
“FIRE stands for financially independent, retire early, and that is an entire community of people who are seeking to be able to get out of the W2 jobs, and into a place that allows them to pursue their passion or spend more time with kids. Some people achieve that by spending almost no money most of their lives, others by bringing in more revenue streams… but for us, we had to find a middle ground that worked for our family.” -Jason Mighdoll
🛠 The Money Date blueprint
This isn’t just a casual chat over coffee, it’s a structured, intentional meeting designed to align your financial goals. I break down the four steps to running a productive Money Date so you leave with clarity and a plan.
“Before the date, there are two roles you need to assign. One of you plays the CFO and is responsible for getting a simple snapshot of your income and expenses. The other plays the COO, responsible for planning the date. Make it fun—order takeout, pour a glass of wine, light a candle. During the date, start with your vision, work backwards from that vision, get real about changes, and wrap it up with one shared takeaway and a next check-in date.” -Barbara Mighdoll
💡 Overcoming financial misalignment
Different spending habits and priorities can make financial alignment challenging. Jason and I share how we navigated disagreements and found compromise without sacrificing our shared vision.
“When we first started the conversation, you wanted to cut costs everywhere, and I wanted to travel a certain way when I was young. We had to paint a picture of what we wanted our life to look like and find our middle ground. That’s why we now spend a month in Europe over our summers—it’s our compromise between living life fully now and planning for the future.” -Barbara Mighdoll
📈 Shifting from passive to proactive financial planning
Waiting to “see how it goes” rarely leads to financial freedom. Jason explains how tracking, monitoring, and making data-driven decisions keeps you on course.
“If we want to retire by the time we're 50, we need a plan. It is not going to just happen by itself. We don't have a big trust fund that we're going to fall into. We need to make a plan, stick to it, and then track and monitor ourselves. And honestly, that’s been our hardest part — holding ourselves accountable.” -Jason Mighdoll
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[00:00:00] Hi everyone. Welcome to the toolkit series from the new Modern Mom podcast. I'm thrilled to bring you this bonus series in between seasons. Each episode will be a quick, actionable deep dive into some of the most important themes from season one, plus some new topics that I know are very top of mind for all of us busy, ambitious moms. My goal is to help you build the tools you need so they're ready and waiting in your toolkit. They're ones you're going to reach for to calm the chaos of career and motherhood. Today we're going to be covering a big one, how to talk about money with your partner and to do this, I'm excited to welcome my husband Jason, who is not only the CFO for new modern mom and m and t studio. Our four Pilates studios we own and run together. He is also the CFO of our household and the driver of our financial strategy. He's earned this role because he spent his entire career in finance, running financial planning for some of the world's biggest tech companies, as well as a series of startups. [00:01:00] Whether you're dreaming of a big move, career pivot, or just wanna feel more in control, this episode is for you. Here's what we're going to cover, what it means to build your freedom path as a couple. How do you set financial goals together and what are the real life steps to start building the life you want as a team? Financial alignment isn't just about budgets and spreadsheets, it's about designing your shared vision so you can say yes to what matters and Know to what doesn't. So let's get started. Hi Jason. finances are one of the top stressors in marriage, but can be one of the most empowering if approached with intention. I know by having these conversations we've very much been able to design the dream life that we want. So let's just start with the concept of financial freedom, which I think is a buzzword that you hear a lot on social media, and I know it's something that we have talked about at length. [00:02:00] So what exactly is financial freedom? So financial freedom can be different to different people. I see it as a lifestyle and an investment plan with the goal of gaining. financial independence or retiring early. And that doesn't necessarily mean you stop working, but it means it gives you the freedom to choose to do what you love. Maybe that means, working for yourself, or that means not being reliant on others. And to me that is an unlock that can only be achieved through thoughtful planning alignment, and, true execution within the buzzwords of financial freedom. There is this term called the fire movement. Can you talk a little bit about that? Because I know we have talked a lot about it because you were very into it at one point. FIRE stands for financially independent, retire Early, and that is an entire community of people. Who are seeking to be able to get out of the call it W2 jobs, and into a place that allows them to pursue their passion or maybe it means spending more time with kids, or maybe it means doing what they love, right? [00:03:00] It's it. Getting to the point and the place where they're not worried about where the next dollar's gonna come from because they have a plan and they know, these different sources or these different income streams will be able to take them to that independence. The important thing here, I just wanna also stress is it's not just about the income, it's also about. The amount you're spending and how you're spending it. And so some people achieve that by spending almost no money most of their lives and just investing it. Other people achieve it by picking and choosing, making sacrifices or making strategic investments. And other people make it by bringing in more revenue streams and others, of course do some kind of hodgepodge of it all. I do think it's an important distinction that people who are generally. Part of that quote unquote fire movement and really tell themselves as being part of it, lean very heavily on the not spending money side at the expense, of being able to grow their income faster so that they can reach their goals faster. [00:04:00] And I know when we first started the conversation, you really kind of came to the table with this idea of the fire movement, and you were very. Enthusiastic about it. And when you explained it to me, my biggest hesitation, and I would say our biggest misalignment was kind of our attitude towards spending because I think you very much wanted to cut costs everywhere across the board and really live in a very different mindset when it comes to how we spend money. And I think originally when we started the conversation, we were kind of saying like, we wanted to retire at age 50. And so like, what do we need to get there? And we really had to have that conversation of my spending philosophy versus yours at the time. And so what were those questions that you brought to the table when we had that conversation? That kind of got us from misalignment to alignment on our financial goals? the questions I brought really was first, right? What age do we wanna retire? What kind of life do we wanna live? How are we going to get there and what are we willing to do to get there? those were the kind of like foundational questions that need to happen to have that thoughtful communication of, okay, are we aligned on at least a starting point? [00:05:00] when do we wanna retire? what age do we want to be and why do we want to do that? Is it to spend more time with our kids? Is it to travel? You know, that's a big why it's kind of new movement right now is actually called reverse retiring where people will go and take these lavish, you know, multi-year trips or sabbaticals from work because they'll never be young again. And so they do that. They go spend their money, they figure, Hey, I can come back and I can always work later. And I think that's an option certainly in our lives. I really saw that as something that. it's interesting, but would get in the way of our ultimate goal of being able to spend more time with our kids while also ourselves being able to travel. going back to that initial conversation, that's where there was that misalignment, right where you were saying. Here's what the cost that we need to cut. But then when we started painting what we wanted our life to look like, I was smiling when you said that reverse retirement, because in my mind that's kind of that yolo attitude where it's like I only live once, I'm only young once. [00:06:00] I wanna travel a certain way when I'm young versus maybe when I'm older. And I think that's where we kind of found our middle ground. And that's. Obviously why we spend a month now in Europe over our summers, because that was our kind of compromise to wanting, to live life to its fullest with our kids and not waiting until we were older and our kids don't necessarily wanna spend that time with us. I also was smiling because. On the first season of the podcast, I interviewed the Chief people officer from Dropbox, Melanie Rosenwasser, and she said that it is so common now when they're reviewing resumes to have a six month, a year long two year gap because people are just taking sabbaticals and traveling and it's so common they don't even bat an eye. It's just makes their story more interesting. And I didn't know that it had a term of reverse retirement, but if I. Did not have kids. I think that would be my lifestyle of choice Right now, I am actually not even sure if that's a term I just might've coined that. I'm sure There is a real term out there for that. Um, the thing that really got me I got really into the fire movement because a friend of mine was introducing me to these alternative investments. [00:07:00] And I started finding these real estate investments through real crowd. And other real estate syndicates and you know, they were promising 13 to 20% returns and the number to use in, in the fire movement of what your money can earn in theory is like 4%, That's like the rule of four. And so I was really excited about these alternative investments that are really hands off. And so I went down this path a little bit deeper of, okay, how do we bring all these different income streams from these different places to diversify our own income so that we aren't completely thrown upside down if one of us lose our job. And I was listening to, a big podcast that I enjoy is BiggerPockets money podcast. And also Rich Dad, poor Dad, Mr. Money, mustache. There's a lot of resources out there, but BiggerPockets is one that I subscribe to religiously. these are teachers, these are manufacturing workers. some people in tech or some doctors. Who made the choice that I'm going to figure out how to get there. And sometimes that's through real estate investments. Sometimes that's through Airbnb rentals and, and things like that. And, and sometimes it's through a variety of different streams to get there. [00:08:00] Oftentimes, right, if you're a teacher, has to have a lot of cost savings as well and living within your means and, and living in the right locations for us. We lived in San Francisco. Our families own the Bay Area, There's always gonna be some super high, bare minimum to live. And so how do we figure that out within this broader context? So you just covered a lot. We are going to film a second episode specifically on the topic of diversifying income and what those different streams can look like. So I love that teaser, but I, I do wanna take a little bit of a step back. You did all this research, you had all this data, you had this rule of four, you kind of took a look at our own finances, and you had set. A scheduled date with me that I'm calling the money date, and we sat down and you literally prepped a deck and you had a presentation prepared for me. So walk me through how you prepared for that money date and what occurred during that date. [00:09:00] So let's just say that there's a lot of different apps out there, To track your own spending, to bring it all into one place. For someone who is following fire, it is really hard ‘ cause so many of your investments aren't on your bank account But you can do your best using honeydew is an interesting one. Rocket Money. Every dollar Monarch. Origin And then I built a spreadsheet. Because these apps can only go so far. And I went back to our credit card spend and I went back to our bank spend and our PayPal spend, and I really went through all of it because as much as these apps bring it all together, my categorization was just so much faster in Excel for me, or Google Sheets, can filter by. Certain vendors or, or certain categories as much as I possibly could. And so I gotthe data into a place where I could put it in a pivot table and read it and basically determine what are our main categories that we're spending money on. Bring it all in here. And so I categorized our money and prepare a presentation of where is all the money that we're spending right now. You know, how much is going towards our pet? How muchtowards our house and utilities? How much is going towards our kids, how much is going towards travel, how much is going towardsmakeup, amenities, weddings, weddings, doing your nails, things like that. [00:10:00] And so I prepared this whole presentation with the idea being if we want to retire by the time we're 50, we need a plan. It is not going to just happen by itself. We don't have a big trust fund that we're just gonna fall into. We need to make a plan and we need to stick to it. And then we need to track and monitor ourselves. And frankly, just to fast forward a little bit, that's been our hardest part is you know, holding ourselves to it. Yeah. And so what happened? We sat down, we had this meeting. this wasn't, a date. I was that enthusiastic for you. Definitely coaxed me into it over the course of several weeks saying that this was coming. And I honestly was a little taken aback when you presented me with a deck because I didn't realize how serious of a conversation this was going to be. you had us go to yoga before we went to a really good restaurant and made it fun, I guess, is. a word you could maybe use for it, but it's definitely not an easy conversation to have. There's a lot of prep work that comes from it. There's a lot of tough conversations that have to be had in the moment. And so we had those conversations. We landed on essentially what our goal was, which was that, age of 50, And I think. We even had like broader conversations around what does retirement even mean, right? [00:11:00] I don't think either of us at that point in time and certainly not now, had the idea that we would just not be working whatsoever. But we wanted the freedom to not work if we wanted to or spend more time on passion projects. So we aligned on those. We also aligned on. Spending threshold, I compromised on some things, you compromised on some things, what happened after that first meeting? I think you covered some of it, But we, we did cover what's a dollar amount that we would check with each other? If we were gonna spend above? What are the changes we are going to make? And for us we actually had a place in Tahoe and it wasn't making us money. It was a asset that was actually draining rather than increasing our wealth. And I mean, it's appreciating, but it wasn't, making us money. It wasn't going to cover us and be a second, another income stream like we originally thought it would. So it was a decision to save money, to put it towards investments that will make us more money and have passive income streams so that we will not be as reliant on W2 income. [00:12:00] And so we said we want to save up to buy, multiple rental properties. We wanna start looking at, Diversifying and going into business for ourselves, right? We know that the largest transfer of wealth ever is happening right now between baby boomers and the next couple generations, and it's how do we look through that and make that part of our story. Exactly. I think that is a great place for us to wrap in terms of an intro to this money date, how to start that conversation. And a great place for us to pick up the conversation in our next episode. So Jason, thank you for joining me today. Thank you for having me and looking forward to everybody listening, getting to hear a little bit more of Jason and our life behind the scenes on future episodes. Don't I sound so fun to be married to? [00:13:00] So what is a tangible tool you can put safely away in your toolkit? On this topic, I'm gonna walk you through how exactly you and your partner can schedule your own money date with this blueprint. So before the date, there are two roles you need to assign. One of you plays the CFO and are responsible for getting a simple snapshot of your income and expenses, just like Jason described group it in a way that feels real to your life. Kids, pets, travel, school, childcare, all of it. The other plays, the COO, you are responsible for planning that date. Make it fun because otherwise you may just avoid it at all costs. So order takeout, pour a glass of wine, light a candle. Book a hot yoga class together. The vibe very much matters. During the date you are one going to start with your vision. Ask yourselves, what do we want a sabbatical to acquire a business, to start our own business, to retire early? [00:14:00] Then step two is to work backwards from that vision. What are the steps or sub goals to get there? Step three, get real about changes. Cut back where it makes sense, coffee nails takeout. Talk about ways to increase income. This part is always super interesting and we will do a follow up episode just on this topic. And then the fourth step is to wrap it up with a shared takeaway. Understand where we are now, and then understand what's one financial goal that you're both excited about trying to achieve, and very important, set the next check-in. Like I said, part two to this toolkit is going to be in a future episode all about that second meeting to discuss options and an action plan to increase your income.Thanks for tuning into this toolkit series on the new Modern Mom podcast. I hope today's tips help simplify the chaos of career and motherhood one tool at a time. If you found this episode helpful, don't forget to subscribe. Give a five star rating and leave a review. My dms are open. Tell me if you scheduled your first money date.
[00:15:00] What role are you playing? What surprised you from the conversation? You can find me at New Modern Mom on Instagram and subscribe to my newsletter. Your support means so much as I continue my mission to help more moms find work life fulfillment.Until next time.
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