Traveling with my kids, including my babies, is one of the most treasured parts of my life. I have no fear of traveling internationally with a toddler or road tripping with a newborn. However, sometimes you just need a little time away. Whether you and your husband want to re-connect or you’re in need of some serious self-care, adults-only trips are inevitable.
Even if you’re really ready for a break, leaving your baby is never easy. From a quick overnight in Napa Valley to a weeklong vacation to Le Blanc Los Cabos, I’ve learned lots about how to make trips without your infant easier.
Today, I’m sharing my tips for handling that first trip without baby 100% mom-guilt free and, hopefully, stress free too! Here are my tips:
Make a breastfeeding plan.
Breastfeeding is one of the biggest hurdles of traveling when you have a baby. There’s this stigma that you just can’t do it, but that’s not true. You should feel guilt-free about taking some time for yourself when breastfeeding. (In fact, breastfeeding makes you extra deserving of some self-care!)
The most time I’ve spent away from Caden or Willow while breastfeeding is 3 nights. I think that’s a good goal if you’re considering a trip! My #1 tip is to leave behind formula in addition to your freezer stash, just so you don’t have the stress of having enough breastmilk stocked up. I recommend Bobbie organic formula as a breastmilk substitute, but here’s a guide on selecting the right formula for you. If your baby isn’t used to formula, start introducing it long before your trip to avoid other feeding complications.
While your baby is home drinking your freezer stash and maybe some formula, you’ll still be producing milk. Make sure you plan for that side of breastfeeding too! Bring your pump—and bring a manual pump as a backup. (I made this mistake of not doing this TWICE and deeply regretted it both times. Do as I say, not as I do!) Also, consider how you’ll get your pumped milk back home. After some research, I found that this Hydro Flask cooler and these reusable ice packs are the most reliable for keeping milk cold on long drives or flights!
Write down your daily routine.
Your routine is going to be your sitter’s biggest support while you’re gone. It will bring comfort and security to your baby even when you’re not the one caring for them, so take time to write out your whole routine in as much detail as possible. Check it over a few times before you leave to ensure you didn’t forget any of the little things that are still important to your child’s routine.
Create an important contact list.
Even if you’re going for just a few days, there are plenty of emergencies and non-emergencies that might warrant a call to someone in your contacts list. Give your sitter a list of important numbers like family members, doctors, poison control, local urgent cares, and even home repairmen. You may want that last one in case a pipe starts leaking, a window breaks, or the HVAC goes out while you’re away.
Identify your biggest sources of anxiety and give yourself peace of mind.
When a mother leaves their baby for the first time, they’re probably struggling with a handful of reasons for anxiety. Maybe you’re worried about feeding time if your baby just started baby-led weaning. Maybe you’re stressed up about safe sleep. Or, maybe you just can’t wrap your head around not being able to peek in on your baby.
Whatever it is, try to invest in a tool that will help give you peace of mind. It could be wifi-enabled indoor cameras, an Owlet, a fire blanket, a dechoking device, or a new security system. Just get what you need, so you can release a little of the burden you’re carrying.
Choose somewhere close.
For our first trip away with Caden, we spent the night in Sonoma and then another in Napa Valley. Finally, we worked up to a whole weekend away with friends. These locations were close enough to home. This way, we could be there in a few hours if something went wrong. This brought me a lot of peace of mind as well!
Ensure your sitter is familiar with your home.
Your sitter needs to know where everything is in your home. If they’re not someone who’s already spent a lot of time in your house, consider either making a cheat sheet with the locations of each needed item, or make it a little easier on your sitter. Create handy caddies for each part of the day. Have one for getting ready in the morning, one for diaper changes, one for feeding time, one for naps, one for outside play, and one for bedtime too. That way, everything is out and ready for your sitter with no complications.
Leave a comfort item for your baby.
Your baby has their standard comfort items, so of course let your sitter know about their favorite lovey or pacifier. However, I also recommend creating a new comfort item for your little one that smells like you. It could be a t-shirt you wore or a blanket you slept with . . . it just needs your scent and it becomes the perfect comfort item for your baby. Your sitter will thank you for this one!
Stock up on your baby’s favorite things.
Another great tip to make the trip easier is to stock up on your baby’s favorite things. It could be a favorite snack, a type of blanket, a toy set, or a book series. Get lots of extras for your sitter to use when your baby is missing you or getting worked up. It’s a small way you can give your child joy from afar!
Set a daily check-in time.
Don’t think you need to go the whole trip without contacting your child. Set up a time of the day to video in and say hello. It’ll give you something to look forward to and a clear opportunity to see how things are going without the temptation to message your sitter all day.
Consider making someone else your sitter’s first contact.
If you’re really trying to make your trip as quiet and stress-free as possible, consider making someone else your sitter’s first contact. Maybe your best friend or your mom knows all the ins-and-outs of your home and your child’s routine . . .they could be your sitter’s go-to person if they have a question. If something big comes up that your friend or family member can’t help with, then you can be contacted. It’s a good way for you to wind down without your phone buzzing all the time.
Figure out ways to simplify things for your sitter and baby.
If you can, find ways to simplify things for your sitter. It’ll put less stress on the sitter, so they can spend more time investing in your baby like you would. Consider providing freezer meals, pre-packaged baby food, paper plates, a bottle washer/sterilizer, and more. You may even want to look back over that routine to determine if there are things you could be more flexible with to give your sitter a break from a demanding itinerary.
Bring a comfort item for yourself.
The truth is, this trip will probably be harder for you than your baby. Bring a comfort item for yourself! Photos and videos on your phone are great for those lonely moments, but you could also bring a piece of worn clothing, a well-loved blanket, or other baby item to provide some comfort when you get sad.
Benefits of Taking a Trip Without Baby
Baby develops special bonds with other important people in your life.
Chances are the person you’re trusting your baby with for a few days is someone close to you. They’re probably someone you want your child to grow really close to! Remind yourself that time away from you allows for a new special bond to be formed between your baby and your loved one.
Offers time just for you—no work, family, or personal commitments.
Remember, this isn’t just a break from the demands of motherhood, it should be a break from all big commitments. Keep your laptop closed, put an OOO on your work email, silence most phone notifications, and savor the time just for you, your spouse, and your self-care.
Allows you to focus on your marriage.
If you had a baby recently (like, in the last 10 years even) your marriage probably has unintentionally taken a back seat from time-to-time. A short vacation is the perfect time to reconnect with your spouse and work on your marriage.
Gives everyone time to rest and recharge.
You and your spouse are probably due for a long rest after consistent night wakings for the last few months. When you don’t have good sleep, it’s so easy to become irritable, depressed, and unmotivated. Use this time to catch up on sleep and recharge.
Provides opportunities to get organized.
If you’ve felt recently like you just can’t get ahead, a weekend trip can help you get organized. Write in your planner, craft a monthly budget, cancel those subscriptions, make those calls, and order those toy sorters online. Don’t spend your whole vacation doing this, but checking off a few to-dos like this will likely give you a lot of relief.
Helps you re-establish goals and priorities.
Take time during your trip to reflect on motherhood, your marriage, your career, and your sense of self. Make goals and reset your priorities, so once you’ve returned home, you have new energy and perspective.
When Can You Leave Your Baby to Go On a Trip?
Every baby is different. However, the general recommendation for the best time to leave baby overnight for the first time is between 4-9 months. This gives your child time to establish a strong connection with you and get a sense of their routine. Again, though, determine what makes sense for you. Some babies and parents are ready earlier, and others need more time.
How to Avoid Mom Guilt On Your First Trip Away From Baby
Mom guilt is real and extremely challenging when you’re traveling without your baby for the first time. Just remind yourself of these things:
- You’re still a person outside of being a mom.
- Self-care is not selfish.
- When you’re rested and recharged, you can better serve your family.
- Baby is establishing a bond that they’ll cherish forever.
- Nights away from baby are normal.
- No one is judging you for taking a trip.
- You can always call home.
- Time away will only make you more grateful for what you have.
- It’s important that your children see you being independent, ambitious, and empowered.
Treat yourself to an adults-only weekend trip!
If you need some time to reset, recharge, and refocus, take a few nights away from your baby. It’ll help you pour more into yourself, so you can pour more into others. With these tips, venturing out for the first time baby-free will hopefully feel amazing. No mom guilt allowed! 😉 If you need more help, head to the blog for more traveling tips and parenting advice!
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