The Top of Mind Newsletter by New Modern Mom is your guide to a fulfilling life, packed with wisdom on motherhood, travel, career, style and self care. Get the latest resources, news and musings right to your inbox.
Today I’m chatting with my neighbor, and friend, Julie Harris, Chief Revenue Officer of Seso and mom to two under 6, with one on the way. Julie’s journey is a masterclass in networking, building community, and investing in a robust support system. Her strategies for finding time for a social life, maintaining 1:1 time with her husband, scheduling self-care, and managing a cross-country move while pregnant—all while driving revenue targets at a high-growth startup—are nothing short of inspiring.
Julie has thoughtfully integrated her demanding career with a fulfilling personal life. From moving across the country while pregnant to maintaining a strong social circle, Julie's insights provide valuable lessons for any working mom. Tune in to discover how you can apply her strategies to thrive in both your professional and personal life.
📋 Project Planning for Life Transitions
Discover how Julie uses project management skills from her career to plan major life changes, like moving across the country while pregnant.
“So I put some of that energy to use in building this massive project plan nine months ago that we've been sort of ticking off every month. And I think there's an element of knowing that it's not always going to go to plan, but as much as you can, just trying to kind of pace yourself through these things and wrap your head around them.”
💬 Early Conversations with Your Partner
Learn the importance of having early discussions with your partner about career and family goals to ensure alignment and support.
“Let's just talk about these things and make sure we're on the same page before we get to that moment where Oh I just assumed that once we had children you would stay home and take care of them. So it was more of just double precaution on my end, given our backgrounds, making sure that like where we saw our future going was totally aligned.”
🧑🤝🧑 Building and Maintaining a Support System
Julie shares her experiences with childcare and the essential role of a reliable support network in balancing work and family life.
“My husband's from Barcelona. I'm from the East Coast and we live in California. We are really far away from a support system that has been critical. And I will say that if we were in a situation where there's a trade off between child care and all these other recreational activities, I would pick child care any day of the week.”
📅 Effective Weekly Planning
Find out how Sunday evening planning sessions and shared calendars can reduce friction and ensure smooth weekly schedules.
“We do Sunday evening planning sessions for the week. Nobody loves them. You're not like super excited. But we do try to sit down and say ‘Hey what do you need to do this week?' And we've gotten really good at shared calendars.”
💪 Prioritizing Self-Care and Personal Time
Listen in for strategies for fitting exercise and self-care into a busy schedule, even as a high-level executive.
“We both really need to exercise. So part of the scheduling is figuring out when am I doing that. And I try to do that during the work day, knowing that the two of us will both sign online two to three nights a week and work from eight till 10 or eight till 10:30.”
🍽️ Scheduling Date Nights
Julie speaks on the importance of regular date nights to maintain a strong relationship with your partner amidst a hectic schedule.
“We used to have this general rule of one night a week we're going to go out on a date just the two of us. So we would just sort of like willy nilly plan what night that was. Starting probably six or seven months ago we said okay that's going to be Wednesday.”
🤝 Expanding Your Social Circle
Discover tips on building new friendships and social connections, especially after moving to a new city.
“We moved here really not knowing anyone almost a decade ago. I think one thing to do is just find a couple people and say ‘Oh invite more [people] to the dinner' or say, ‘Bring anyone you want.' Then not being afraid to go up to somebody that you're having a conversation and clicking with.”
🌍 Navigating Career Breaks and Consulting
Find insights into taking a career hiatus, the benefits of consulting, and how to structure your days for balance and fulfillment.
“I knew enough because I get inbound every day from a different recruiting firm. That gives you a lot of confidence. When the time comes and I am ready there will be something there. Even if the job market goes to hell, I will figure this out, but I need to of sit with some quietness for a little while.”
🎒 Making Big Family Decisions
Julie discusses the considerations behind her family's decision to move across the country and the emotional aspects involved.
“We said, ‘This is a five year plan. Let's see what happens. If we get there in six months, and we're like, this is miserable,this is not our place, these are not our people, this is not serving our family, then we will make a change. We have agreed to that. So nothing is forever, but it was more of, Hey, there's this impetus around timing that we just really want to prioritize being close to family.”
👨👩👧👦 Community Building in New Environments
Listen to how Julie plans to establish a new community in Virginia, ensuring a supportive network for her family.
” I actually have a number of friends moving from other cities that are getting their kids back to school. So there are a couple of us that are in the exact same boat. We're moving within two weeks from Atlanta or other cities to Richmond so I'm focusing on that.”
Whether you're looking to enhance your support system, build a stronger community, or simply find more balance in your life, this episode is packed with valuable insights and advice.
[00:00:00] Barbara Mighdoll: You know, the dream of having it all a thriving career, an active social life, present time with your kids in adventures and travel, but how the F can we actually do it all? Welcome to the new modern mom podcast. I'm your host, Barbara Migdal, a former tech exec turned entrepreneur and mother of two. My superpower is creating order out of chaos, and I want to help ambitious moms feel enabled to do the same.
[00:00:27] Barbara Mighdoll: In each episode, I'm interviewing VPs, C level executives, and founders to learn the real proven strategies they use to find work life fulfillment. Together, we're building the playbook for the new modern mom.
[00:00:42] Barbara Mighdoll: Hi everyone today. I'm chatting with my neighbor and friend Julie Harris, who is the chief revenue officer of agriculture, tech, startups, CSO, and mom to two under six with one on the way.
[00:00:54] Barbara Mighdoll: When I was creating our guest lineup, I knew Julie needed to share her perspective on this platform, because I [00:01:00] honestly just admired how, despite having no family remotely nearby, she's built a stable, reliable community around her of support. So without further ado, let's chat with Julie.
[00:01:12] Barbara Mighdoll: Welcome, Julie. It is so good to have you here. Thanks. I'm happy to be here for our listeners. Julie is actually my neighbor. She lives a few houses down from us and we've really bonded because our kids are similar ages and we've definitely done our fair share of SOS. My au pair like a sick or my nanny is sick and can yours watch mine for a meeting I have.
[00:01:36] Barbara Mighdoll: And I'm so glad to have met you so that I've been able to have that support. But, you know, What I've been so impressed with is how much She is juggling between a demanding career, creating special moments with her kids, traveling for work all the time, traveling for fun and maintaining a social life.
[00:01:55] Barbara Mighdoll: So let's get into it. Julie, you are a mom of two. to two [00:02:00] kids under five and you have one on the way, you're pregnant and you are the chief revenue officer at CSO. Can you set the stage for what life looks like at the present moment?
[00:02:13] Julie Harris: So, we are moving from San Francisco to Virginia in three weeks, so there's a lot going on right now. I've been at CISO for over a year now and then, like you said, have two little kids. I'm almost seven months pregnant. I knew that this was going to be a pretty stressful time, this sort of build up to packing our lives up here, moving across country, getting my family settled while cooking a baby and trying to make sure we hit our targets.
[00:02:46] Julie Harris: So I put some of that energy to use in building this massive project plan nine months ago that we've been sort of ticking off every month. And I think there's an element of knowing that it's not always going to go to plan, [00:03:00] but As much as you can, just trying to kind of pace yourself through these things and wrap your head around them.
[00:03:06] Julie Harris: So I'd say things are crazy. I think we've done a pretty good job of getting things ready and every week sort of checking things off the list. What I wanted to avoid was getting to a crunch right before the move where I couldn't focus on work or I couldn't be present with my kids because they're really going to need us as we make this transition.
[00:03:23] Julie Harris: They're so little, it's hard for them to really understand what it means. So I'm trying to make sure we carve out space to. Get them settled in, help them meet friends, be social, all while being very pregnant. So it's a little chaotic at the moment. We're in this weird purgatory of knowing that we need to sort of start packing up our life here, bottling up these memories, saying goodbye to our home and our nanny and our community, but also getting really excited and looking forward for what's coming next.
[00:03:51] Barbara Mighdoll: Yeah, there's a couple things I just want to stress for Our listeners because I think it's a great example of taking our work skills and putting them towards our personal [00:04:00] life I think we may be very similar like I find Calm in the chaos when I have a plan and not just oh, I'm gonna do XYZ, but I have a spreadsheet That's like a work back schedule of everything that needs to get done and it sounds like you started doing that Even before you got pregnant in anticipation of this big move.
[00:04:17] Barbara Mighdoll: And I still resonate with that. And I think it's a good reminder for anybody who's listening, who maybe is feeling caught in the chaos. Like go back to those core skills that make you really great at work. Being able to organize, being able to plan effectively and apply them to the stressful situation at home.
[00:04:34] Barbara Mighdoll: I actually want to rewind back to the very, very beginning, like pre kids, because I read a quote from you. That really just sparked something in me. It was around the idea of having a conversation with your husband about how you were going to navigate life and your careers and the vision for what you wanted your life to be before getting married, which feels like such an important action to flag for [00:05:00] people listening, because I, I do think it's kind of uncommon to have that much forethought, but it's so smart.
[00:05:05] Barbara Mighdoll: So can you just. Walk me through, like, why did you feel so strongly about having that conversation in that moment in your life?
[00:05:13] Julie Harris: So when I met him, I would definitely say my career had not taken off. Like I was a late bloomer. I feel like I've had a lot of progression in the last seven years or so. But when I met him, I knew I knew it was ambitious.
[00:05:28] Julie Harris: I knew I had talents that I just hadn't quite like tapped into what was that perfect career fit for me. Okay. I grew up in a house with, my mother always worked and I went to a private school where I was in the minority. Most kids were getting picked up by their mom from school at three o'clock and going home to a like homemade snack.
[00:05:50] Julie Harris: And my mom was scrambling when I was sick to find somebody to come stay home with me. So I grew up in that environment. And once I got older, [00:06:00] I could really appreciate that it was, it was I had a role model, someone to look up to, that she always had her own thing. There was, especially for being born in the eighties, there was a lot of what I call balance.
[00:06:12] Julie Harris: My dad was an entrepreneur with his own business, certainly the moneymaker. And still it was not that he was off the hook for childcare. Like they, they very much had a partnership. My husband grew up in a completely traditional environment, like the opposite end of the spectrum. And so I think when coming from my background, meeting him.
[00:06:33] Julie Harris: I wanted to know that. He didn't have those same expectations of the environment that you grew up in because you often that's what you know that's what's normal to you and I knew even though my career hadn't quite clicked for me yet. I knew that I always wanted to work and so Part of this is the conversation started early because we are coming from totally different ends of the spectrum when you think about what we know Even though my husband I'd say a little more progressive and he [00:07:00] spent his three years The whole life living in different countries and very open minded.
[00:07:04] Julie Harris: So I just fell in love with him because of who he is. So inherently we have this gut feeling like that's not really gonna be a problem, but it's better to just get it out on the table. Hey, I know I want to have a family. I also know I always want to have a career. Let's just talk about these things and make sure we're on the same page before we get to that moment where, Oh, I just assumed that once we had children, you would stay home and take care of them.
[00:07:24] Julie Harris: So it was more of just like double precaution on my end of given our backgrounds, making sure that like where we saw our future going was totally aligned.
[00:07:33] Barbara Mighdoll: Yeah, and what were some of those non negotiables in your mind, right? Like when you brought up this conversation and we're trying to explain to him this perspective that you had, which like you said he wasn't exposed to, what were those things that you were thinking like, oh, I want to make sure that I get to do X, Y, or Z?
[00:07:49] Julie Harris: Gosh, I mean, I don't know that anything is non negotiable. We try not to Be absolutist in our relationship because I think once you start [00:08:00] drawing lines and saying you can't do that or it just puts so much pressure. So it was more like, Hey, this is really important to me. I think it's always going to be a part of my life.
[00:08:11] Julie Harris: Can we make sure that we build around what we both need? And he's an entrepreneur. He was starting a business when I met him. And so there's a lot of flexibility required to. To be a part of that partnership too, right? And so it was more like I think we're gonna both have needs that we can't even foresee right now But can we just make sure we're always in tune with what the other person needs and it is it's an ebb and flow there have been parts of my career where i'm like I should probably pull back a little bit because my husband's in a really intense phase and I need to be able to give a little bit more and that the opposite has happened like they're Parts of my career at Flexport when I was breaking off and building a team.
[00:08:51] Julie Harris: And there was like one year that was so wildly intense. And I was like, Hey, I really want to go for this. But yeah, in general, we try to avoid this sort of absolutist [00:09:00] conversations cause they end up just being so, so tough.
[00:09:03] Barbara Mighdoll: Yeah, I think also just highlighting like how your relationship and how both of your individual relationships with work have been so dynamic.
[00:09:14] Barbara Mighdoll: I think it's so important to remember when you have two highly successful working parents, right? Somebody's always going to have to flex. Up or down depending on what you guys need as a team and as a couple and it sounds like you guys have like really figured out How to have those conversations and be really open and communicate with each other really effectively to be able to have The forethought that like hey, this is going to be a really challenging period and are you able to make this work?
[00:09:42] Barbara Mighdoll: So I love that you guys kind of found your groove there I've gotten a glimpse into your life and i've been so impressed with how you've You Manage to prioritize all of the important areas in your life, like your wellness, your marriage, and being able to find the time to have those conversations and just like your personal [00:10:00] time.
[00:10:00] Barbara Mighdoll: And so I would like to know, speaking of systems, like what is the support system you have around you that enables you to do that? And on top of that, how do you plan for things like you would at work? How are you ensuring like there isn't a single point of failure with a system that you're building?
[00:10:20] Barbara Mighdoll: Yeah, that's a great question. We have
[00:10:21] Julie Harris: had our nanny Maria with us since my son was seven weeks old and she's been a fixture in our lives. It's actually one of the things that's hardest about moving my husband. You're being so irrational about leaving Maria, but she's been reliable and Flexible and all the things you need when you don't have family nearby.
[00:10:41] Julie Harris: My husband's from Barcelona. I'm from the east coast We live in california. We are really far away from a support system that has been critical and I will say that if we were in a situation where there's a trade off between Child care and all these other recreational activities. I would pick child care Any day of the week.
[00:10:59] Julie Harris: [00:11:00] It has been an investment and there's definitely been a trade off between savings, but it's to be able to have the flexibility, A, to know that our children are in great hands. She's given them a ton of love and a really stable system. So that has been a huge help. We were totally aligned on that from the beginning.
[00:11:18] Julie Harris: Even though both of our kids are going to preschool a couple days a week, we made the decision this year, for example, we could have sent both of them to school five days a week. I travel for work some, my husband travels for work some, there are sick days, there are things that come up. And even though we did the math on it and just thought it was absolutely bananas to kind of like double dip on the childcare front, we, We knew we needed to do that to be able to have the flexibility to, to have our careers, have the personal time, have the time for our couple and for our kids.
[00:11:49] Julie Harris: And so there's no special secret there. It's just for my personal decision, I would have given up a lot just to be able to have help there. We do, I mean, I think you're [00:12:00] probably the same way, Barbara, but we do kind of like Sunday evening planning sessions for the week. Nobody loves them. You're not like super excited.
[00:12:07] Julie Harris: But we do try to sit down and say, Hey, what do you need to do this week? And, and we've gotten really good at shared calendars. I have a work dinner, the sooner I can get that on the calendar, just so he has visibility and vice versus if I know I have a busy week coming up socially, I'll say, Hey, I have colleagues in town or a friend in town.
[00:12:26] Julie Harris: I'm thinking about doing. Dinner out Tuesday night and Thursday night is but like socializing that and just not assuming that's gonna be okay And he does the same thing just discussing and being very communicative on hey Is this a week that you can sort of flex in more to the family and I can take a step away but again The more you can just get on the same page about that the earlier you can do that I think the less friction you're gonna have
[00:12:52] Barbara Mighdoll: absolutely and and talk to me a little bit about the day to day, right?
[00:12:56] Barbara Mighdoll: You So obviously, yes. Child care, [00:13:00] 1000 percent necessary to C level executive parents. How do you cook dinner? Where do you find the time to do that? Sunday night, we have
[00:13:08] Julie Harris: Sunday supper. And that is something I grew up with. My grandmother was into Sunday supper. We went over there. It's like a really special memory for me.
[00:13:18] Julie Harris: But really our nanny helps a lot with dinner, which was another thing. I was like, Hey, she makes these beautiful, delicious meals. I feel comfortable outsourcing that. And then you mentioned sort of like taking care of ourselves. We both really kind of need to exercise. So part of the scheduling is figuring out when am I doing that?
[00:13:37] Julie Harris: And I try to do that during the work day. Um, knowing that the two of us, they will both sign online two to three nights a week and work from eight till 10 or eight till 10 30. So it's that trade off of, Hey, I'm going to squeeze in the run or the class and the time that's convenient for the family. And so we [00:14:00] sort of know the precious blocks that we have with our kids every day.
[00:14:03] Julie Harris: And we try to play Tetris with what are the personal things that we need to, to fit in. But again, we try to like coordinate that because it's not fun if like I'm working Monday and he's working Tuesday and I'm working when you need to get on the same page for when are you going to be doing that evening work session.
[00:14:22] Barbara Mighdoll: I, I think my biggest takeaway and something I actually would love to start doing. So we, we plan everything like, like I, I also do the Sunday, Sunday sync with my husband. I'm like the biggest proponent of it, but we plan our entire day up until basically like bedtime. And then we don't coordinate the evenings.
[00:14:40] Barbara Mighdoll: We also work two or three nights a week, like that eight to 10. Mark. But we don't coordinate the nights. So I want to start doing that because I think that's what I've been struggling with is I feel like we're never seeing each other now after our kids go to bed because it's like a sprint from 5 30 till bedtime and then going [00:15:00] back to work.
[00:15:00] Barbara Mighdoll: And I love that you guys are like thinking that far ahead of what nights am I going to dedicate to work? Not just daytime. That's so smart. Yeah, I mean,
[00:15:08] Julie Harris: and, you know, It's a trade off and it's something we debate because I have friends with young children that are like way more spontaneous. Their kids were never on schedules.
[00:15:16] Julie Harris: It was just go with the flow and honestly it sounded way more stressful to me. You've got to coordinate child care. You can't just hop and go out to an adult dinner by yourself. Like everything has to be orchestrated and planned. We used to have this general rule of, hey, one night a week we're going to go out to a date, just the two of us.
[00:15:35] Julie Harris: So, And we would just sort of like willy nilly plan what night that was. This starting probably six or seven months ago, we said, okay, that's going to be Wednesday. And we're just going to ask her nanny to stay late every Wednesday. We do an early date. And this doesn't mean that we sometimes don't also schedule a sitter to go out to a friend's party on a Saturday night, but it means that as a blocked, scheduled, Wednesday [00:16:00] night, and it's just great to be like, oh, yeah, Wednesday We have this that are like we're gonna go somewhere and it can be a last minute We go to firefly up the street But it takes the stress out of actually having to like figure out which night's it gonna be and we've just found that we were Letting that fall off and we would go two or three Weeks in a row and not have had an adult dinner for the two of us in a different setting than our dining table And so that was a really good hack for us.
[00:16:25] Julie Harris: And something I'm gonna stick with when we move is like, every Wednesday is date night. And it forces us to be like, I mean, I was exhausted. Actually, last we did it 30th Thursday yesterday because I was out of town earlier this week. I was exhausted, but I was like, it is I feel so good every time we come out of that time.
[00:16:42] Julie Harris: Like, every The end of Wednesday dinner, we're both like, Oh my God, I love you so much. We needed to connect. We needed to change a setting. And it's just so invigorating. And having that as like a scheduled block has been huge for us.
[00:16:56] Barbara Mighdoll: I resonate with that because to me, it's okay. [00:17:00] I had to sit down and really figure out, like, there is not endless amount of hours in the day.
[00:17:05] Barbara Mighdoll: Right. So what are the rituals I want to stick to daily? What are like the priorities with my husband, the priorities with my kids? Like, how do I want to see that time surface with them? And if it's not scheduled, it's not going to happen because life happens. And I agree, like. There is probably a season of life where you can have spontaneous moments and kind of feel like you're like living a little bit more at the whim, but personally for me, if it's not scheduled, it just doesn't happen for us.
[00:17:33] Barbara Mighdoll: Pivoting away from scheduling, I want to turn to kind of building friendships and relationships at work. So, I know you are in sales and like you said, like that's a really high energy type of role and you're also a team leader and so nurturing relationships and building new connections is part of your job and I'm curious if you've seen [00:18:00] that skill set translate into your personal life.
[00:18:03] Barbara Mighdoll: And the reason I ask is I think that there are a lot of listeners that are actively trying to broaden their social circle, um, whether that is, Personal friendships or like trying to find their mom tribe or like really trying to make the investment in their professional growth and networking grow there.
[00:18:20] Barbara Mighdoll: And so I would love to know how you feel like you've seen that show up in your life and what advice you may have on follow through tips to kind of build these relationships from scratch.
[00:18:32] Julie Harris: Yeah. I'll say that I've been worse with it recently because we made this decision to move to the East coast.
[00:18:41] Julie Harris: Almost a year ago and we have a great community here And so the last year has been more investing in the friends. We already have and making sure we see them regularly uh, but when we moved here really not knowing anyone almost a decade ago, and I think one thing is just [00:19:00] you find a couple people and then Say, oh invite more to the dinner or saying bring anyone you want and then not being afraid to You Go up to somebody that you're having a conversation and clicking with somebody, not being shy about saying, Oh, it was so nice chatting with you.
[00:19:17] Julie Harris: I'd love to grab a drink. Can I get your number? And it's hard once you have all this going on in your life and you're wiped out by Wednesday, but forcing yourself to say, I really need to prioritize that community building. I think once you have kids and talking about the sort of like unscheduled time on the weekend, especially if you're meeting somebody with children as well, pushing yourself to try to meet up in those unscripted moments.
[00:19:43] Julie Harris: Right. And saying. Hey, we, Saturday's wide open. Do you want to meet at the farmer's market with our kids? Do you want to grab a coffee or, and you have to be persistent. It's like sales. It's people have busy lives and pushing that to the top of the [00:20:00] priority list for the next couple of months. And then just we're sticking with it.
[00:20:04] Julie Harris: But I think sometimes as we get older, we're more self conscious about the friendship chase and you're like, assume that it's going to fall in your lap. And frankly, most people have got to set their community by the time they're 35. And so you ha if you're looking to expand it, you have to really work at it.
[00:20:26] Julie Harris: One of the reasons we're moving east is our son's going to be in kindergarten. And we didn't want to go through that whole process out here and then move two years later. But one thing that a lot of folks have said is that your kid's school is another moment in life where it's very easy to suddenly build community again.
[00:20:45] Julie Harris: So I'm really looking forward to that. We move in three weeks and I think I have five social plans, like the first week that we move, because I'm going to invest in making sure. We meet people, start to build [00:21:00] friendships, and that, that's work.
[00:21:03] Barbara Mighdoll: It absolutely is work. And I agree. It's kind of like this awkward, I feel like I'm dating or I'm like following up with somebody like, yeah, exactly.
[00:21:13] Barbara Mighdoll: It is an awkward feeling, but I think it's probably a good reminder, right? That I think all of us at this stage where we've got young kids have gone through this period where everybody. wants to meet new people, right? They want to find people to connect with that are at a similar stage. And it's okay to feel like you're being a little bit.
[00:21:36] Barbara Mighdoll: Pushy to like really push somebody else to like that you feel like you you made a connection with to meet up with you because They're just as busy as you right? It's not like they're probably like intentionally saying no It's just that they're over scheduled just like you are and it's a good reminder that Everybody's kind of feeling that no matter how confident you are or not.
[00:21:55] Barbara Mighdoll: So thanks for yeah, thanks for sharing that So I do want to jump forward and kind of [00:22:00] talk about You An area of your life that you mentioned earlier, which you call the hiatus, which I love that term I actually I feel like this theme of Taking a pause to re evaluate has actually Become a central theme in this podcast the more I sit down for these conversations It seems like something that keeps coming up with almost every woman that i've talked to So I am very interested in hearing about your experience So you decided to leave your last company to take this hiatus, but I know you, you actually ended up consulting during this time as well.
[00:22:40] Barbara Mighdoll: And I'm curious, did you plan on consulting during this pause or was that part of your plan? So I didn't have a plan.
[00:22:51] Julie Harris: I started at Flexport when we were less than 50 people. So it was the first year I was there, we did 12 million in revenue. When I left, we were almost a 4 billion [00:23:00] company and that happened in seven years.
[00:23:02] Julie Harris: So it was like dropping myself onto a rocket ship and just like holding on for dear life. And I had two children in that time, COVID happened. There were periods at Flexport where I thought I will be here forever, I am so happy, and ultimately, I mean I could have stayed forever, but I, something that I think is really important to do, and you earn the right to do this, this is something I believe very firmly, once I really felt like I had gotten great at my craft.
[00:23:32] Julie Harris: I felt comfortable saying, am I really happy doing what I'm doing every day? I'll be probably old school saying this. I think when you're early in your career, so what if you're unhappy? That's part of you need to learn how to be gritty. You have to push through stuff that sucks. There were years where I hated my job, but it was like, I don't want to bounce around.
[00:23:51] Julie Harris: I'm going to, this is going to teach me something. I'm going to learn from this. That was 30. Seven, when I left Flexport, I had built some [00:24:00] really amazing parts of the business. I felt very much like I earned the right to like sign on every day and love what I'm doing. And the focus of the company and my role shifted.
[00:24:11] Julie Harris: I'm a builder. I love building and it was a role where it had gone from building to just being more in the much more kind of corporate environment. And that wasn't giving me a lot of energy. So step one was the evaluation of, it's okay to, by the way, be unhappy for three months because maybe that's going to turn around.
[00:24:27] Julie Harris: But when you get to a point where you're like, it's been like six or seven months, I don't feel the energy. I'm like bitter when I sign on every day, it's time to reevaluate and it was a very hard decision. I mean, that has been. In the last five years, even like including having my children, there was a lot of emotional attachment and sadness that came along with that decision because I felt like I'd helped build the company and I took it really personally that it just wasn't a fit for me anymore.
[00:24:55] Julie Harris: So once I decided, Hey, I'm not happy. It was. Like that was such a [00:25:00] hard thing to co just like a acknowledgement that all I needed to do was say, I don't know what the future is going to exactly look like, but I need, I deserve to be happy and I deserve to just take some time off and cleanse my palate, which is very difficult for me.
[00:25:14] Julie Harris: You're a planner. I'm a planner. My first instinct was like, okay, let me start talking to VCs and lining up the next thing. And it was like, Oh my god, no, I have been running at a crazy speed for seven years straight. It's been like, I felt like I'd gone through multiple different startups being built within that seven years because it was a couple different iterations of the same company.
[00:25:36] Julie Harris: I of course knew coming out of this, I knew enough because I get inbound. Every day from a different recruiting firm. That gives you a lot of confidence. Hey, when the time comes and I am ready, there will be something there. Even if the job market goes to all hell, like I will figure this out, but I need to kind of sit with some quietness for a little while.
[00:25:56] Julie Harris: So that's really how once I could just wrap my head around, like the step one [00:26:00] is I have to leave. And it doesn't really matter what step three or four is. Step two is going to be taking time off to spend with my kids. So I actually kind of forced myself. I said for three months, I'm not going to think about this.
[00:26:12] Julie Harris: So we went to Spain for a month. I was like, I'm just going to work out a lot. Spend more time with my kids, take, be a little, pick off my son and take him to lunch in the middle of the day. All the things that are really hard to do when you've got an intense career. But that was a good exercise of just don't think about it.
[00:26:29] Julie Harris: Don't start trying to plan what's next. What happened at the three month mark, like pretty much to date, I was like, okay, I'm getting a little, my husband was like, you need something else to do. I was probably driving the family crazy with all sorts of schemes and again, high energy. It's going to go somewhere, right?
[00:26:45] Julie Harris: So it probably was just starting to park in the wrong places and stress everyone else around me out. And right at three months, I started engaging with not necessarily recruiters on full time roles, but I have a [00:27:00] pretty good community of VCs and talent folks. And I said, okay, I'm here. I'm not ready for a full time role.
[00:27:09] Julie Harris: I didn't have that space yet to invest in something so fully. And I'm kind of all or nothing when it comes to that. So. Um, a couple of VCs were like, Oh, I have this company that's, they need commercial help on this. So they're trying to break into the enterprise sales space. That's your background. Like talk to the CEO.
[00:27:25] Julie Harris: I mean, it took me three weeks to have six gigs lined up and that was a great, just like kept my mind fresh. I was working like 25 hours a week, but enough to get my mind tickled and start to just, you know, Be like, oh, I can get energy again from working. Because for a while, it was a center of just like stress.
[00:27:44] Julie Harris: And it was like, oh, no, there's actually a ton of fun in this.
[00:27:46] Barbara Mighdoll: I have a lot of questions. I want to dig in. So the reason I'm so curious about this is because I know personally, I went through a similar period, the first half of last year, which ultimately resulted in [00:28:00] me leaving entire career to do something A little bit different with new modern mom.
[00:28:06] Barbara Mighdoll: But one of my initial thoughts was, okay, I need that pause and maybe I want to consult. Maybe consulting is going to give me the flexibility I'm craving. Cause I think like you, I was craving. being bored and then like having variety and like, I needed the happiness. I needed the fun. And I don't think that's unique to me.
[00:28:26] Barbara Mighdoll: I don't think it's unique to you. I've talked to so many women in this community who have been like, I'm considering consulting, but I just, I'm worried about like the beady component of it. Like finding those roles, like the stability, it feels like a risk. And it sounds like you said, like you had six.
[00:28:43] Barbara Mighdoll: Consulting opportunities lined up fairly quickly. So how can you like give us your secret sauce? If somebody wants to do this, what do you recommend to be able to feel a little bit more confident that they will find those secret consulting jobs?
[00:28:59] Julie Harris: Yeah. I [00:29:00] mean, I mentioned most of mine came through my VC, like the VC talent network.
[00:29:04] Julie Harris: So folks at index or Andreessen. Kleiner, there are a couple, I think Sequoia, just, I stayed in touch with those people over the years. I actually have an email from Andreessen's Talent, a person that came in yesterday, and just like, here's what I'm up to, just very friendly. And then when I, when I was ready, I Said, Hey, I'm available because a lot of them, they can spot issues across their portcodes and say, they know who needs commercial health.
[00:29:37] Julie Harris: They know who needs go to market strategy help. And so raising your hand and saying, Hey, this is what I'm looking for. I think it does help to go to them with your bio ready to go where you think you can specifically offer help. So for me, I helped. Build FlexPort's upmarket segments. So being able to say, Hey, if you have any portcos that are looking to go [00:30:00] into transition from mid market to enterprise sales, they're trying to break in, they need someone who's done that before, that's my sweet spot.
[00:30:07] Julie Harris: So I think the more specific you can get on what's the value you can offer, that really helps. But then these guys are always kind of looking to pair up advisors and consultants with their portcos that need help. So I think that's a good way to do it. I have. Companies that are reaching out and saying, Hey, I, I need help with this.
[00:30:23] Julie Harris: Would you come work for us? And I will say, Oh, I'm not available, but I know so and so so just making sure your whole network knows that you're available and that they understand what's that special sauce that you have that you can add to a startup's recipe for what is that so that it's really easy to articulate, Oh, you need help with figuring out of your operating procedures and operating rhythms and metrics, here's somebody that can do that for you.
[00:30:51] Barbara Mighdoll: So it sounds like kind of going full circle to a previous conversation we had. It's like the follow through, right? Like you made these connections earlier on in your career. It [00:31:00] sounds like you've been able to just keep them up to date on where you're at in life and what you're looking for. And they really pulled through for you.
[00:31:06] Barbara Mighdoll: Like, When you didn't make it available that you were ready to take on some additional kind of consulting jobs and just kind of going back to the fact that you weren't ready to go full time and so you were wanting like 25 hours a week which I do feel like sounds like the dream probably for a lot of people like that's kind of like what they're looking for maybe like for their quote on quote pause or or kind of like this in between time to be able to feel like they have more balance which we can definitely I agree with you so.
[00:31:37] Barbara Mighdoll: How did you, like, structure your days, right, so that you still felt like you were getting that balance, you were still, like, getting what you wanted out of this hiatus, and weren't, like, over pouring yourself into these opportunities?
[00:31:53] Julie Harris: That is a really good question and I will preface by saying that I only did this for about three months and I was starting [00:32:00] to get the rhythm but not totally.
[00:32:02] Julie Harris: I didn't perfect it. What I would recommend and what I was kind of figuring out right away when I found CISO and then left permanently or left to go full time in CISO is I think it's better to do these on retainer. And instead of trying to like, bill by the hour, because I'm not a lawyer, I'm not like keeping track of my time in 15 minute increments, I think getting really clear with like, hey, I'm gonna, here's the outcomes and the outputs we're, we're looking for, I roughly think that's gonna be a day, a week of work.
[00:32:36] Julie Harris: Based on that, here's my monthly retainer rate, right? And then I think getting really, and I mean, you must have mastered this by now, getting very good at how you draw lines and structure your day. So saying, Hey, I'm going to sit down and concentrate from eight to two after two will be my time where I exercise or spend time with my kids or whatever it is.
[00:32:58] Julie Harris: That is, I think, one of the biggest [00:33:00] challenges with consulting is it can, depending on the founders you're working with, and I think some of them forget what you've, what the agreement is, right? And there's, it can quickly get sucked into, Oh my God, I thought we were doing a day, a week of work. And here I am spending three days a week on you.
[00:33:15] Julie Harris: I think having the clear boundaries, setting that structure time so that you can go back to them and say, actually, the project we agreed on, Was this scope and now we're doing the scope. So we need to change the agreement or up the retainer so that you can advocate for yourself. I think that's the only way it works really well, because if you're someone like me, that loves to get kind of sucked into things and naturally it's going to feel really passionate.
[00:33:40] Julie Harris: You'll turn around. And actually, that's kind of what happened with CISO. I signed up to do one day a week with them and then loved it and loved the people. And naturally, I got turned around in December. I was like, I'm definitely sending. And the CEO said, there's no way you're getting this done in one day a week, like zero chance.
[00:33:55] Julie Harris: And so I think being, keeping track of it, being organized so you [00:34:00] can go back and say, It's actually more like 16 hours a week that I'm working on this project. I'm really enjoying it, but the compensation needs to reflect my work. And so then you can advocate for yourself. So I think that is a big challenge with consulting is it sounds like it's going to be, if you're really diligent, you can keep it defined in that period.
[00:34:21] Julie Harris: If you're super passionate, it's naturally going to end up expanding into a full work week.
[00:34:27] Barbara Mighdoll: Absolutely. Yeah. I think that is such good advice and very smart to say, don't do hourly. You've never, your entire career probably tracked your hours. That doesn't sound that would make anybody happy. Right. If they're not used to it and yeah, figuring out how many hours a week you want to put in, but then putting it on a retainer or the project base based off of deliverables.
[00:34:47] Barbara Mighdoll: I think that sounds like a much better plan in general. So. I want to also jump ahead to now and talk about this big move that you've mentioned. It's definitely like a [00:35:00] very exciting time for you, right? But I'm curious, like, you have this plan in place, but it's more on the emotional side that's probably really starting to affect you.
[00:35:10] Barbara Mighdoll: Like, how are you feeling about this big move? And can you also, I guess, talk through the considerations you made to actually decide to move across the country?
[00:35:20] Julie Harris: Yeah, I'll start with the considerations because that's Dictating how I feel in some ways. So we've been in San Francisco coming up on nine years.
[00:35:30] Julie Harris: I lived in Asia for almost a decade. That's where I met my husband. It's been a wonderful place to live, to build our careers. Not a very popular thing to say, but I'd say COVID has really opened up flexibility for our generation to work from home or work remotely. My team is. Roughly 35 people and they're scattered all over the U.
[00:35:53] Julie Harris: S. And then what actually prompted the move of course was like for me obviously flexibility to live anywhere But [00:36:00] my parents are on the older side knock on wood. They're in amazing health, but we work Trying to find a way to, we were kind of on a path of meeting up with them every other month, but it's like schlepping kids across the country or them coming out here.
[00:36:15] Julie Harris: And I really want my children to know my parents while they're healthy. I don't want to have to. necessitate a move home once something terrible happened, right? And so part of it was every time we'd have these meetups with my parents, it was like, Oh, it's so nice to have family around. They're so helpful with our children.
[00:36:34] Julie Harris: Our kids are so happy with them. My dad and my son have this really special bond. They're oddly similar. My son is a little old man. And they help very much. That's so weird that they have the same mannerisms. I can't even describe it. So it was okay. We really want to be closer to them. I Also really wanted three kids and it took me a long time to decide that because it's so at odds with having a really intense [00:37:00] career especially living in San Francisco and you're like I'm having a third kid people are like are you crazy I mean living in this city three kids is it's It's a lot, financially, logistically, dealing with school.
[00:37:13] Julie Harris: And so we debated the third kid for a while, and it was something that every single day I would wake up and think about. And it got to the point, if you're thinking so much about this, you, You need to do it because I think I can have regrets about my career when I look back and I'm 80 and I doubt that I'm going to have regrets about my career.
[00:37:30] Julie Harris: I did not want to look back later in life and say like, why didn't I build that large family for myself? I'm an only child. It's something I've wanted since I was a kid. I always dreamed of a big family So once we made that decision and we wanted a large family We just said, Hey, we've got to be closer to my parents and then timing wise, because my son is going into kindergarten this year, it's such a natural break.
[00:37:53] Julie Harris: So even though we probably would have stayed here at other two or three years, getting into school anywhere is a pain in the rear. And I didn't want to go through [00:38:00] investing all of that time just to do one year of school and then go have to do the same exercise somewhere else. So it was a good forcing function of like, where do we see ourselves at least for the next couple of years?
[00:38:09] Julie Harris: And we've said, Hey, this is a five year plan. Let's see what happens. And we've said, if we get there in six months, we're like, this is miserable. This is not our place. These are not our people. This is not serving our family. We will make a change. We have agreed to that. So nothing is forever, but it was more of, Hey, there's this impetus around timing with kindergarten and this baby imminently coming that we just.
[00:38:33] Julie Harris: really want to prioritize being close to family. For me, it doesn't impact my job at all. My husband will have to be back here and that was part of the decision. Hey, I'm going to support you coming monthly. It will not be a push and pull. It's going to be a like, yes, when do you need to go type thing. And so that was another consideration.
[00:38:53] Julie Harris: The chapters that are closing forever, a little bit more emotional. Like we're not going to be hanging out with our nanny regularly. We can't come back and [00:39:00] visit this home that we built our family in. So those are things that I'm a little bit more attached to, but overall. Really excited. We already have a community there.
[00:39:11] Julie Harris: If we were moving somewhere where I didn't know anyone, I mentioned, I actually have a number of friends moving from other cities that are getting their kids back to school. back before kindergarten just like we are, so there are a couple of us that are in the exact same boat. We're moving within two weeks from Atlanta or other cities to Richmond, so I'm focusing on that.
[00:39:28] Julie Harris: It really does feel like a strong sense of community that we're moving into. We have my parents that we're going to put to work on day one.
[00:39:36] Barbara Mighdoll: I love it. Well, I for one, I'm definitely going to miss you, but I'm so excited for this next chapter in your life. Before we wrap up, can you please share how listeners can connect with you beyond this episode?
[00:39:49] Julie Harris: Sure. So LinkedIn, although there are a lot of Julie Harris's that I think if you put in Julie Harris. Theso, S E S O, you'll find me, my handle [00:40:00] on Instagram's Julie D. Harris, although I'm truly trying to spend less time on social media, mainly because when you think of life being just a pie, there's nothing sadder than spending an hour of your day, just mindlessly scrolling.
[00:40:13] Julie Harris: So I'd say LinkedIn is a great way, happy to answer any questions that anybody in the community has.
[00:40:19] Barbara Mighdoll: Amazing. Julie, I loved our chat so much. Thank you so much for being here.
[00:40:23] Julie Harris: Thank you for having me.
[00:40:24] Thanks for listening to this episode of the new modern mom podcast. I hope you can use the story shared today to simplify the chaos of career and motherhood. If you like what you heard, don't forget to subscribe to this podcast. Give us a five star rating and leave a review. Please connect with me on LinkedIn and follow new modern mom on Instagram.
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I live in San Francisco with my husband, Jason, toddler, Caden, one year old baby, Willow, and Bernese Mountain Dog, Bear. I previously held multiple VP of Marketing roles at tech startups before deciding to take the leap to build New Modern Mom full time in an effort to find fulfillment and flexibility in my life. I also was a fitness instructor in an earlier life. I created this space to curate the best products and real advice on pregnancy, motherhood, cooking, travel and more to make doing it all for ambitious moms like me a whole lot easier.
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