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Pregnancy

My Top Advice to My FTM (first-time mom) Best Friends

FTM advice

NEW MODERN MOM

2/17/25

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Written by:

Barbara Mighdoll

I became a mom earlier than most of my friends, so when they started having kids, they often came to me for advice. So, when I found myself constantly saying the same things to my friends, I thought, why not put it all together in one place? So, here are a second-time mom’s top 10 pieces of advice for first-time moms to make parenting a little easier and a lot more enjoyable.

1. Use Coterie Diapers, and don’t think twice about it

Honestly, skip the endless diaper trial and error. Use Coterie diapers from the start! Their diapers and wipes are the best, without a doubt. I’ve tried other brands like Dyper, Pampers Pure, and Kirkland, but after switching to Coterie, I said goodbye to diaper rashes and my baby started sleeping noticeably longer! 🤯 

Here's why: their absorbency is next level, which means fewer leaks, fewer overnight wake-ups, and less laundry. And I'm a big believer in using non-toxic, clean materials for baby products. Coterie is made without toxins, fragrances, and harsh chemicals. That’s why I love Coterie diapers and you will too. I've got a code for all my modern moms.

Get 20% off your purchase of Coterie Diapers with code: NEWMODERNMOM

2. Prepare stations around your home before baby arrives

Consider these stations as your “survival kits”—a collection of everything you need in one organized place. Here are some examples:

  • Bedroom station: small night light, burp cloths, sound machine, pacifiers
  • Bathroom station: mesh underwear, pads, peri bottle, OTC meds
  • Diaper station: changing pad, diapers, wipes, wipe dispenser 
  • Living room station: snacks, tissues, baby lounger, nursing pillow
  • Kitchen station: baby bottle drying rack, freezer postpartum meals, bottles, bottle brush

3. Prioritize small, self-care rituals

After having Caden, I didn’t prioritize myself or my self-care rituals. My days were a nonstop cycle of feeding him, changing diapers, and catching whatever sleep I could during his naps. It left me feeling burned out and exhausted, and I couldn't really enjoy my newborn bubble because I was physically and emotionally drained.

When I had Willow, I knew things had to change. I started prioritizing myself and making time just for me. Whether it was taking a long walk with a podcast, treating myself to a warm breakfast, or doing 20 minutes of postpartum recovery exercises, I made sure to find moments each week to recharge.

4. Prioritize postpartum nutrition

A lot of advice for first-time moms is baby focused, but you're a priority, too. Your body has just done something incredible—now it needs real nourishment to heal, recover, and keep up with the demands of newborn life. Keep nourishment as simple and stress-free as possible, but prioritize it for yourself.

  • Go for protein + healthy fats: These keep energy steady and helps with recovery. Think eggs, salmon, avocado, and nut butters.
  • One-handed snacks: Greek yogurt, trail mix, fruit, no-bake energy bites, or hard-boiled eggs are easy to grab.
  • Freezer meal prep: Stock up on soups and slow cooker meals before baby arrives.
  • Hydration matters: Keep a big water bottle with electrolytes nearby—you’ll need it, especially if you’re breastfeeding.

Nourishing yourself doesn’t have to be complicated—but it really does matter.

5. Ask for help

Before your baby arrives, take some time to think about the support you'll need during those early weeks. It’s a big transition—full of sweet moments, but also some major adjustments and disrupted sleep. And while I find this piece of advice for first-time moms can often be the hardest to take, a little extra support really does go a long way in helping you feel more cared for and less overwhelmed. Here are a few areas where having support in place can lighten the load:

  • Overnight care: Plan to split overnight responsibilities with your partner, especially during the newborn phase. If that’s not possible, ask a family member, or consider hiring a night doula or night nurse.
  • Self-care: Ask your partner if you each can switch off having an hour to yourselves daily. If that isn’t possible, see if a family member, friends or a babysitter can provide childcare even for an hour or two a few times a week.
  • Let people help in ways that matter: Whether it’s someone holding the baby while you nap, a friend doing a quick grocery run, or a family member taking over dishes and laundry, small acts of support add up.

6. Outsource strategically 

You don’t have to do it all—seriously. The mental load of motherhood is real, and outsourcing where you can makes a real difference. Even small things add up to more ease, less stress, and more time to actually enjoy the newborn phase.

Here are a few things my friends and I have leaned on: 

  • Grocery delivery or pickup – Skip the store. Use Instacart, Amazon Fresh, or local grocery delivery to make mealtime easier.
  • House cleaning help – Whether it’s a deep clean before baby arrives or a weekly cleaning service, it’s worth it.
  • Dog walkers or a friend to walk the dog – Those first few weeks are a blur. A little extra help for your pup can be so nice and give you peace of mind they’re taken care of and getting some love. 
  • Laundry services – Some local laundromats offer pickup and drop-off services. Even outsourcing folding can be worth it.
  • Babysitting swaps – If you have a friend with kids, trade off an hour or two of baby-watching so each of you can take a break. This is great as your little one gets a bit older.

7. Set up subscriptions 

Trust me, make your life easier by automating the things you’ll need most—especially in those early months. Setting up subscriptions means fewer last-minute runs and less things to constantly be asking yourself if you did or didn’t do.

  • Meal deliveries (like Sakara and Daily Harvest)
  • Baby essentials (diapers, wipes, formula)
  • Must-haves for mom (prenatals and postpartum vitamins, favorite tea or coffee)
  • Household basics (paper towels, laundry detergent, hand soap)
  • Favorite subscriptions (your go-to streaming services, audiobooks, meditation apps)

8. Go-to outfit formulas 

Some advice for first-time moms I always give? Don't underestimate how nice it is to have an outfit formula to rely on, especially in the early postpartum days. You’ll be spending lots of hours at home, but getting dressed—even in the simplest way—can make a big difference in how you feel. And when you’re heading out, even if it’s just for a quick coffee run or a stroller walk, having a few go-to outfits makes getting ready effortless.

Your postpartum body will be different, and that’s okay. If you need to buy a few things that fit the size you are now, give yourself permission. Borrow from friends, check Poshmark, or buy new—whatever feels best for you.

Outfit formulas to make life easier:

If you're nursing, look for pieces that make feeds easy, but these outfit formulas work whether you're breastfeeding or not.

Staying home:

  • (Nursing) t-shirt + wrap sweater + leggings + cozy slippers
  • (Nursing) tank + button-down + leggings + cozy slippers
  • Soft lounge set + (nursing-friendly) bralette + fuzzy socks

Heading out:

  • (Nursing) t-shirt + button-down chambray + joggers + sneakers 
  • Flowy maxi dress + cardigan + flats
  • Oversized sweater + leggings + slip-on boots

9. Lower your expectations (in the best way) 

I thought I’d have us on an easy schedule, be working out effortlessly, traveling, and keeping up with my life—just with a baby in tow. And while I made space for all these things—exercise, travel, girls’ nights—some took more time, and some I had to completely rethink. Adjusting expectations doesn’t mean you need to give up on what matters to you, instead you need to be open to leaning in and finding new ways to make things work in this season of motherhood.

Here are a few ways expectations might shift:

  • Workouts might look like stroller walks or WFH exercises with your baby getting some tummy time next to you instead of gym sessions.
  • Date nights might mean your favorite takeout on the couch or planning a lunch date with a babysitter lined up a few weeks in advance instead of an impromptu night out.
  • I’m here to tell you traveling, even international adventures, can absolutely happen with a little one. It just takes more strategic planning. 
  • Productivity might be measured in naps and feedings, not checklists.
  • A ‘clean house’ might just mean a cleared-off couch and an empty sink.

It’s not less—it’s different. Just be sure it’s in ways that feel good for you and your family.

10. Repeat after me…

These mantras helped me through the challenging times:

It is not the season for perfection

The newborn phase is all about surviving, not perfection. You’ll likely be sleep-deprived and bound to make a few mistakes along the way. Adjust your expectations and trust that with time, you’ll find your parenting groove. 

Trust your instincts

No one knows your child better than you. Lean into your natural mama instincts to guide your decisions.

Every challenge is temporary

When you become a parent, you’ll face a lot of challenges. Between sleep regressions, worrying about milestones, and confusion over starting solids, each challenge can feel overwhelming. It’s important to remember that these challenges or frustrations are only temporary, and with time you’ll figure it out and it will pass. 

Be patient, my baby and I are learning together

Be patient with yourself as you and your baby get to know each other and learn together. Parenting is a journey and it takes time to find your rhythm.   

What all first-time moms deserve to know

And what it all really boils down to, the best advice for first-time moms…

There’s no perfect way to do this—just the way that works best for you.

Being a new parent comes with lots of questions, and no two journeys will ever look the same. Some advice for first-time moms will click right away—relying on a few key wardrobe staples to feel your best, getting groceries delivered, and setting up quality diapers on subscription (I’ve got a 20% code for all my modern moms). Other things you’ll figure out as you go—like how prioritizing yourself isn’t selfish, and that reaching out for help can feel like the hardest part but makes the biggest difference.

The best thing you can do? Give yourself grace, trust that you’ll find your rhythm, and remember—you’re doing an amazing job.

Author

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