I’ve hosted a few au pairs over the years, and it’s been an incredible experience. Having live-in help that truly becomes part of your family, plus the added layer of cultural exchange, is something I wouldn’t trade. But I’ve also had a nanny, a house manager, and even summer child care while traveling abroad with my kids. If there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s that no two seasons of family life look the same. What works one year might not the next.
Childcare needs shift, sometimes unexpectedly. Maybe an au pair isn’t the right fit for your family right now. Maybe you’re just exploring other options or want a backup plan in your pocket. No matter what, it’s always a good idea to know what’s out there.
Now, just to set expectations, this isn’t a roundup of every childcare option on the planet. (We love grandparents, babysitters, and traditional daycare too!) But if you’re looking for something that feels similar to having an au pair, something with flexibility, connection, and personalized support, then these are the options I’ve tried or seen work really well. Hopefully they help you find what fits this season of life.
What childcare options can work for every family dynamic?
Like we all know, there’s no one-size-fits-all when it comes to childcare. Some families need full-time, live-in support. Others are looking for something more flexible or shared. The good news? There are great au pair alternatives that can give you the help you need and fit your lifestyle.
Here’s a look at a few of the best options if you're looking for an alternative to an au pair.
1. Live-in nannies
A live-in nanny is exactly what it sounds like, full-time childcare support that lives in your home. Unlike an au pair, a live-in nanny is typically a trained professional with experience in childcare, often specializing in newborn care and early childhood education. They provide personalized, one-on-one care and can be a great option for families who need more hands-on support.
What to know about hiring a live-in nanny:
- They live in your home full-time, so a private room or space is required.
- More professional experience than an au pair, often with childcare certifications.
- Can offer flexible scheduling based on your family’s needs.
- Typically more expensive than live-out nannies because of room and board.
- You are responsible for payroll, benefits, and legal considerations (like taxes, contracts, and possibly contributing to health insurance, depending on your agreement and state laws).
Who this works best for:
Families looking for long-term, consistent support with more experience than an au pair and more flexibility than daycare.
Cost:
Live-in nanny salaries vary widely based on experience, location, and job responsibilities. In high-cost areas like the Bay Area, you can expect to pay anywhere from around $70,000 a year, plus room and board.
If you’re considering this option, check out agencies like Household Staffing International and Adventure Nannies that can help with placements and legal paperwork.
This blog covers more in depth answers for an au pair vs. nanny.
2. Nanny share arrangements
A nanny share is a great alternative for families who want the benefits of a nanny but at a lower cost. Instead of hiring a nanny just for your home, you share one with another family (or more). It’s like a small, private daycare, but with the flexibility and personalized care of a nanny.
What to know about a nanny share:
- Typically shared between two families, but sometimes more.
- Kids get more socialization while still getting lots of personalized attention.
- Costs are split, making it more affordable than a full-time nanny.
- Requires coordination like schedules, pay, and locations need to be agreed on.
- The nanny's salary is often higher since multiple families are contributing.
Who this works best for:
Families who want personalized care at a lower cost and don’t mind coordinating with another family for schedules and hosting.
Cost:
Nanny share rates vary depending on location and the nanny’s experience. In high-cost areas like the Bay Area, families typically split $35,000 – $50,000 per year, which is about 30% less than hiring a nanny solo.
If you’re considering a nanny share, platforms like Care.com, UrbanSitter, or local parent groups can help you connect with other families looking to share.
3. House manager
I never really thought about hiring a house manager until I had one. And now? I don’t know how I lived without. Unlike a nanny, who focuses primarily on childcare, a house manager helps with the behind-the-scenes tasks that keep your household running smoothly. Think of them as your go-to person for everything from scheduling to errands to laundry and keeping the fridge stocked and the house in order. If you already have daycare, school, or part-time childcare covered but still feel overwhelmed by daily life, a house manager could be exactly what you need.
What to know about a house manager:
- Helps with household chores and organization, errands, scheduling, and meal prep.
- Can include childcare responsibilities, but the focus is on managing the home.
- Offers flexibility since they can work full-time or part-time.
- Ideal for working parents juggling multiple responsibilities.
Who this works best for:
Families who need more than a child care provider and are looking for support with other things while the kids are in daycare or school. A house manager will help with the household tasks, organizing schedules, support with errands, essentially keeping everything running smoothly.
Cost:
House managers typically charge $20 – $40 per hour, depending on location, experience, and responsibilities. Some work full-time while others take on part-time roles.
If you’re considering this option, agencies can help with placements or you can check local mom groups and hiring platforms to find someone who fits your family’s needs.
4. Home-based day cares
If you’re looking for a structured childcare option but want something smaller and more personal than a daycare center, a home-based daycare could be the right fit. These are licensed providers who care for children out of their own home, offering a setting that feels more like a family environment rather than a classroom.
For many parents, this is a happy medium. Your child gets socialization with a small group of kids, but with more attention than they might receive in a larger daycare center. This option tends to be more flexible, often offering longer hours and a more personal relationship with the caregiver.
What to know about home-based daycare:
- Licensed providers operate from their own home, usually with a small group of children.
- A homier, less institutional feel than a daycare center.
- May not offer the same level of structure or curriculum as larger facilities.
- Lower caregiver-to-child ratios than daycare centers, but higher than a nanny.
- Generally more affordable than full-time nanny care.
Who this works best for:
Parents looking for an affordable, small-group setting that still provides structured care but with a more personal touch than a traditional daycare center.
Cost:
Home-based daycare is one of the more budget-friendly childcare options, with costs varying based on location and child age. In high-cost areas like the Bay Area, expect to pay between $20,000 – $40,000 per year.
If you’re considering this option, check out local licensing databases, parent Facebook groups, and word-of-mouth recommendations to find trusted providers in your area.
Understanding the roles and benefits of each childcare option
Level of flexibility
- Live-in nannies offer the most flexibility, adjusting their schedule to fit your family’s needs.
- Nanny shares require coordination with another family, so schedules may be more structured.
- House managers are great for families needing household help beyond childcare but may not provide any type of child supervision.
- Home-based daycares offer set schedules but may have more flexibility than a traditional daycare center.
Cost considerations
- Live-in nannies tend to be one of the more expensive options due to salary, room and board.
- Nanny shares split the cost between families, making them more budget-friendly.
- House managers vary in price depending on responsibilities and are usually hourly based. Since this option usually complements other child care, you’ll likely be paying for multiple support people (house manager, daycare, nanny, etc.)
- Home-based daycare is typically the most affordable option while still providing structured care.
Level of personalization
- Live-in nannies and nanny shares provide one-on-one, personalized care tailored to your child’s needs.
- House managers might offer some child-based support but focus primarily on keeping the household running smoothly.
- Home-based daycare offers a small-group setting, balancing personal attention with socialization.
Household support
- If you need help beyond childcare, a house manager might be the best fit.
- Some live-in nannies may also assist with light household tasks like laundry or meal prep, but these responsibilities usually are child-focused.
- Nanny shares and home-based daycares focus solely on childcare, without added household support.
Long-term vs. short-term needs
- Live-in nannies and house managers are ideal for families looking for long-term, consistent help.
- Nanny shares can be a great short-term or long-term solution, depending on the agreement.
- Home-based daycares often require less of a commitment and can transition into preschool when the time comes.
Socialization for your child
- Nanny shares and home-based daycares provide built-in playmates and social interaction.
- Live-in nannies give personalized attention, but you may need to seek out additional social opportunities with same-aged kids.
- House managers typically don’t provide childcare.
At the end of the day, the right childcare choice depends on your family's unique needs, budget, and lifestyle. If you’re exploring an alternative to an au pair, having a clear understanding of these options will help you feel confident in finding the right fit, whether for now or in the future.
It truly takes a village to raise a child, and as a mom, I know finding the right support is a big deal. Having different options means you can choose what works best for your family right now, knowing that things can always shift in the future. Whether you're exploring an alternative to an au pair, considering a nanny share, or just learning what’s out there, having a plan that supports both your child and your peace of mind is what matters most.
And if you’re looking for more resources on childcare, be sure to check out my detailed guides on the must-ask questions when interviewing au pairs and nannies. I promise they’ll help you feel even more confident in your search. And if you decide to follow one of these paths for childcare, send me a DM on Instagram, I’d love to hear how it’s going!
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