Toolkit Series: Why Habit Stacking Works (And How to Start Today)

At the start of 2023, I made a resolution to stretch every night. I carved out five minutes, set up a little routine, and stuck with it, for about a month. Then life got busy, evenings slipped back into autopilot, and the habit disappeared.

When the new year rolled around, I set the exact same goal, but with one small change: instead of carving out extra time, I paired stretching with something I already did every night, brushing my teeth. No extra time, no extra effort. And now, a year and a half later, it’s still a habit! 

In this week’s Toolkit Series episode of The New Modern Mom Podcast, I’m diving into what habit stacking really is, why it works, and how it’s helped me feel more calm, more connected, and more in control of my time as a working mom. Habit stacking isn’t about productivity hacks or squeezing more into your day. It’s about designing your life with intention, taking the routines you already have and layering in small, meaningful actions that align with the person you want to become.

✨ The science behind habit stacking

Learn why habits stick when you attach them to something you already do. Barbara explains the research, including why it actually takes an average of 66 days (not 21!) to build a habit.

“Instead of creating a brand new routine, you just take something that’s already part of your life, like making your morning coffee, or in my case, brushing my teeth, and use it as a reminder for your new habit.” – Barbara Mighdoll

🦷 Real-life examples of habit stacking

Barbara shares candid, everyday ways she uses this tool to create flow: stretching while brushing her teeth, pairing workouts with podcasts, checking in with friends right after school drop-off, and even doing money dates with her husband.

“Sometimes I’m listening to another podcast, sometimes I am watching a mindless reality show, but it is a consistent part of my evening routine that helps me relax, calm down, and helps my body feel better.” – Barbara Mighdoll

💡 Why habit stacking isn’t about doing more

This isn’t about cramming more into your schedule, it’s about aligning small actions with the person you want to become.

“For me, habit stacking isn’t about doing more, it’s about doing what matters more easily. And it’s not a productivity hack like a lot of people make you believe. It’s a lifestyle design tool.” – Barbara Mighdoll

🧘 How habit stacking reduces decision fatigue

Discover how one intentional pairing can simplify dozens of daily choices.

“When we make one decision that eliminates a thousand little decisions, we regain control. And that’s exactly what habit stacking has done for me.” – Barbara Mighdoll

📓 A practical exercise for working moms

Barbara walks you through how to reverse-engineer your routines by starting with the feelings you want at the end of the day, then pairing habits to make them happen.

“Sometimes we don’t know what habits we need until we understand how we want to feel. Do you want to feel calm, inspired, accomplished, connected, grounded, prepared? Now ask yourself — am I feeling that way? And if not, what’s missing?” – Barbara Mighdoll

This episode is perfect for moms searching for:

→ How to design daily routines that align with the life you want

→ Practical habit hacks to feel calmer, more connected, and more accomplished

→ How to build lasting habits without adding more to your plate

→ Simple real-life examples of habit stacking for busy moms

→ Ways to reduce decision fatigue and feel more in control

Listen to the Episode

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Rather read the full interview than listen?

[00:00:00] Hi everyone. Welcome to the toolkit series from the new Modern Mom podcast. I'm thrilled to bring you this bonus series in between seasons. Each episode will be a quick, actionable deep dive for those in between moments of your day on topics that are top of mind for me, and I bet you too, my goal is to help you build the tools you need so they're ready and waiting in your toolkit, the ones you're going to reach for to calm the chaos of career in motherhood. Today we're talking about something simple but truly powerful. and that is habit stacking. I first noticed the power of this without even realizing I was doing it. I was brushing my teeth one night and started stretching at the same time. And that tiny combination became a ritual. I shared that. I did this on Instagram. Someone DMed me saying, because of you, I now stretch every night while brushing my teeth too. And that's when it really clicked that these small, intentional pairings were adding up to something really meaningful. So today I'm sharing what habit stacking actually is, why it works.

[00:01:00]and how I personally use it to make life feel more aligned. So let's start with what habit stacking even is. By definition, habit stacking is a way to build new habits by hooking them on to ones you already do. It's actually a concept from the book, atomic Habits, by James Clear. You may have heard of it. It's a great book and definitely something worth listening to on audiobook. He says that the key to building lasting habits is to join them with something that's already automatic. So instead of creating a brand new routine, you just take something that's already part of your life, like making your morning coffee, or in my case, brushing your teeth, and use it as a reminder for your new habit.

[00:02:00] It, and I think this science is really important to remember. Studies show that it takes an average of 66 days, not 21, like we've heard on a lot of Instagram posts and podcasts before, to build a habit. And that habit is more likely to stick if it's consistent in context and timing in your life. So for me, habit stacking. Isn't about doing more, it's about doing what matters more easily. And it's not a productivity hack like a lot of people make you believe. It's a lifestyle design tool. It's how you make sure that the things that matter most actually end up happening in your life. So. Here's the deal.

[00:03:00] I have said this on this podcast more than once, nobody has more hours in the day than anybody else. We're all managing the exact same 24 hours. So I started asking myself, how can I design my days to feel more calm, more aligned, more in control? And that's why habit stacking really clicked for me. It works because you're not starting from zero. You're building onto something that's already happening. So whether that's brushing your teeth, making your kids' lunch, walking into your workspace, that moment becomes a trigger for something new. You want to embody. But here's the real deep reason it works, and I think this is so important. It shifts how you see yourself. And James Clear from Atomic Habits says this best . You're not trying to build the habit of waking up early. You're becoming a morning person. You're not trying to write more. You're becoming someone who creates, you're  not forcing wellness, you're becoming someone who prioritizes health. That reframe changes everything. It is a shift from you no longer trying to be disciplined or good. You are voting every day for the kind of person you are becoming.  So for me, I realized I need to stop seeing habits as chores. These things I have to start integrating into my life. They're building blocks for the life I'm intentionally designing. I believe life happens by design. And that's when I started seeing my day differently.

[00:04:00] I wasn't trying to add habits, I was trying to create flow, and there is no coincidence that one of the taglines for m and t Studio is Let's flow. I'm trying to reclaim energy and make space for what matters. One quote that really stuck with me is from a book called Essentialism, and that quote says, when we make one decision that eliminates a thousand liter decisions, we regain control. And that's exactly what habit stacking has done for me. When I pair a new habit with something I already do, I'm not deciding every day if I'm going to stretch or check in with a friend. It's just built into my routine. I don't have to think about it. And that reduces decision fatigue in a major way. And if you are a working busy mom like me, decision fatigue is. At an all time high, at most points in my day. So if you're feeling like your days are packed, but you're not purposeful, start with one decision that simplifies a thousand others.

[00:05:00] So. I wanna move this from strategy and thought to practicality and give you a peek into how this looks and shows up in my real life. I start my day with 20 minutes of movement. It is a non-negotiable and drastically shifts my energy and honestly, the decisions I make for the rest of the day. While I am doing an at-home workout, I use an app, but I turn the volume down and I turn on a podcast instead. That is. One of my core habit stacks that I swear by. After I drop the kids off from school, I hop onto Marco Polo and check in with my close friends. It keeps me connected even if I feel like I'm juggling a thousand things. In the evening, like I mentioned, I brush my teeth and I stretch at the exact same time. Sometimes I'm listening to another podcast.

[00:06:00] Sometimes I am watching a mindless reality show, but it is a consistent part of my evening routine that helps me relax, calm down, and helps my body feel better. One of my favorite habits hacks is something with my husband that I call our money date, and I recorded an episode all about this with Jason, but we review our finances over a date. It's a less stressful kind of fun way. We pair this not so fun topic with something we actually enjoy. Even tech and wellness can be stacked together. So for example, you can set a timer for deep work. I time block my entire calendar, and if there's something I really need to focus on, I turn off all tabs, mute slack, and get it done. But when that timer goes off, I will walk around the block. It resets my mind and protects my energy. So. Now that I shared some examples, let's do a quick exercise that is reverse engineering the feeling you want at the end of the day. Because sometimes we don't know what habits we need until we understand how we want to feel. So let's start here. 

 [00:07:00] Do you wanna feel calm, inspired, accomplished, connected, grounded, prepared, Do you wanna feel fulfilled? Now, ask yourself, am I feeling that way? And if not, why? What's missing? Then look at what you already do on autopilot, making coffee, brushing your teeth, driving to school, cooking dinner. These are all anchors. Now let's pair them. Here's some ideas. If you want to feel calm. Maybe you do a three minute meditation while your coffee is brewing, light a candle and do a slow stretch while brushing your teeth at night. Journal one sentence before bed. What do I wanna release today? If you wanna feel inspired, follow five podcasts that spark curiosity. Pick one to play while you're getting dressed in the morning, or read one page of a new book after you put the kids down.

[00:08:00] You can keep a saved folder on Instagram of things that inspire you and then review it every Friday morning before you go to work. If you wanna feel accomplished, journal for four minutes in bed at night with three props. What worked, what didn't? What's one win? Maybe pair your evening. Wind down routine, whether that's your skincare or a tea, with a quick highlight of the day, voice memo to yourself. If you wanna feel connected after school, drop off, send a voice note to a friend, or while you're unloading the dishwasher, Marco Polo, somebody that is on your group chat or set a recurring 15 minute check-in call while you're walking your dog. These are just some ideas to get you started, but there are so many little micro moments in your day that you can hook onto, and that's just it. They are micro moments. You just need to pick one tiny action and stack it onto something you're already doing. Keep it simple and remember to keep a habit tracker if that helps. But most of all, you need to remember that consistency is what is important, not perfection.

[00:09:00] If you miss a day, that's okay. Just pick it up tomorrow. My dms are open, and I would love for you to share an example of something that you are trying today to improve your life. Alright, thanks for tuning in to this toolkit series on the new Modern Mom podcast. I hope today's tips help simplify the chaos of career in motherhood one tool at a time. If you found this episode helpful, don't forget to subscribe. Give a five star rating and leave a review. You can always connect with me on Instagram and to get a more in depth look at behind the scenes of my life. Subscribe to my newsletter on Substack. Your support means so much as I continue my mission to help more moms find work life fulfillment.

Until next time. 

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