The Motherhood Penalty: Why Moms Deserve Better

Motherhood is life-changing in ways you never fully expect—emotionally, physically, and yep, professionally. The term motherhood penalty might not have crossed your mind before becoming a mom, but chances are you’ve felt its impact at some point. A slower career progression? Reduced earning potential? The overwhelming need to “prove yourself” at work? Moms face unique challenges that go far beyond managing the demands of family and a career.

And here’s the truth: these challenges aren’t just personal—they’re systemic. Sure, there’s been progress in how we talk about women at work, but there’s still a long way to go when it comes to addressing the struggles moms face in their careers.

Let’s break it down—what the motherhood penalty actually is, how it’s impacting working moms like you, and most importantly, what can be done.

What is the motherhood penalty?

It’s no big secret that moms are expected to do it all, yet we’re penalized for it. So exactly what is meant by the motherhood penalty? Well, it means that simply because you're a mom who holds a job out in the world, you're going to find yourself bumping up against major challenges and nonstop bias. It shows up in ways like:

• Lower pay 

• Fewer opportunities for advancement 

• Bias and judgment around capabilities 

• Limited flexibility for managing a career and family life 

• Missed opportunities for networking

• Lack of support after maternity leave or when returning to work 

These effects add up, leaving moms overlooked, undervalued, and jumping hurdles many of their colleagues don’t face. So what’s really behind the motherhood penalty, and why does it continue to hold working moms back today?

Why the motherhood penalty even exists

The motherhood penalty exists because of outdated ideas about gender roles and parenting. These ideas continue to influence workplaces today. And moms are often unfairly judged as being less committed to their careers, even when they’re meeting (or exceeding) the same standards as their colleagues.

A lack of family-friendly policies—like flexible work options and decent parental leave—makes things so much harder. Without real support systems in place, moms are often stuck making impossible choices between growing their careers and being there for their families.

Workplace policies play a role, but so does the outdated belief that caregiving should fall mostly on moms. To truly support working mothers, we need to challenge these assumptions and create systems that help, instead of hold back, the success of working moms. 

The history behind moms in the workforce

To be clear, moms have always worked—whether it was in the home, on farms, or in factories. But the idea of moms balancing paid work outside the home is a relatively recent shift, and it’s still evolving.

Here’s a quick look at how we got here:

• Early 20th century: Most moms stayed home, while dads were expected to be the sole providers financially.

• World War II: With men off to war, women stepped into the workforce.

• Post-war era: The “ideal” mom was back in the home, caring for the kids, while societal pressures reinforced this role.

• 1970s and beyond: More women began working outside the home, paving the way for moms taking on the role of financial providers or contributing to dual-income homes.

• Today: Moms are an essential part of the workforce, but the landscape is more complex than ever. Many moms have to figure out how to show up after having kids—whether that means taking a career break, shifting into a new role, or continuing on the path they had before becoming parents. And SAHM and SAHD are also in the mix. Yet, workplace systems still lag behind, clinging to outdated norms about motherhood and caregiving.

The history of moms in the workplace really is one of persistence, progress, and ongoing challenges. And while we’ve come a long way, there’s still a lot of work to do to be sure moms are supported, respected, and valued at work.

The real impact of the motherhood penalty

For many moms, the decision to step away, shift, or stay the course in their careers after having kids isn’t a simple one—far from it in fact. It’s filled with trade-offs, second-guessing, and pressures that others might not understand. And I know this firsthand. When I transitioned from a VP role in Silicon Valley to becoming the fulltime CEO for New Modern Mom, I wasn’t just choosing a different career—I was redefining what ambition, success, and fulfillment looked like for me as a mom. This wasn’t something that happened overnight or that I decided without a lot of time and consideration. 

How it affects moms financially and emotionally

The motherhood penalty affects more than just job titles or paychecks. It leaves a lasting impact in ways that are both financial and emotional:

• Financial setbacks: Lower salaries, missed promotions, or employment gaps that can stall your career growth and long-term earning potential.

• Impact on long-term financial security: Reduced income can lead to lower savings, smaller retirement funds, and fewer financial safety nets.

• Limited career opportunities: Being passed over for certain roles or projects because of assumptions about your work commitment.

• The mental toll: Stress, burnout, and the constant pressure to “prove yourself” at work, especially when balancing caregiving responsibilities.

• Emotional strain: Navigating identity shifts, societal judgment, and the weight of trying to be “enough” at home and at work.

What’s keeping the motherhood penalty alive?

The good news? Women have made incredible strides, and moms are showing up in amazing ways—at work, at home, and everywhere in between. But the reality is, progress hasn’t erased the challenges. Lower salaries, missed employment opportunities in hiring, and unfair doubts about competence are still far too common for working moms.

If you’re wondering what’s really keeping the motherhood penalty alive, you’re not alone. 

Outdated gender roles and bias in the workplace

Outdated ideas about gender roles are still deeply rooted in many workplaces, putting moms at a clear disadvantage. These biases affect everything from pay to how a mom’s skills and commitment are perceived. Here’s how it can play out:

• The pay gap: Moms are often paid less than their child-free colleagues, even when doing the same work.

• Assumptions about commitment: Being a mom can unfairly and wrongly signal to employers that you’re less focused or dedicated to your job.

• Bias in hiring and promotions: Moms are passed over for roles or leadership opportunities because of outdated beliefs about their availability or capabilities. 

• “Prove it” culture: Moms feel pressure to over-perform to prove they can keep up—adding to stress and burnout.

Why flexible work options aren’t enough

Work from home options since the pandemic have definitely created a bit more flexibility for many working parents—IMO there’s no denying the perks. But let’s also be clear: working from home is still work. It doesn’t magically solve the challenges of childcare, distractions, or managing a full workload while juggling family needs.

And the reality? Not all families—or working moms—have access to flexible work options, like:

• WFH

• Part-time schedules

• Compressed workweeks (working fewer days with longer work hours)

• Job sharing (splitting one role between two employees)

• Flexible start and end times

Without broader solutions, like affordable childcare and true family support systems, flexibility alone just isn’t enough.

The problem with limited parental leave

When it comes to parental leave, the United States lags far behind so much of the world. Most countries recognize that new moms need time to recover physically, emotionally, and mentally before returning to work—and they offer policies that reflect that.

Here’s a quick comparison of family leave in other countries:

• Sweden: 480 days of paid parental leave to be shared between parents.

• Canada: Up to 18 months of leave, with partial pay for the duration.

• Germany: Up to 3 years of parental leave, with up to 14 months of paid support.

• Japan: Moms (and dads) can take up to a year of paid leave.

Meanwhile, in the U.S., there’s no federal guarantee of paid parental leave. Leaving moms the added pressure of doing a lot of leg work to prepare for maternity leave, however brief it might be. And way too many moms are going back to work just weeks after giving birth—often before they’re physically healed, mentally ready, or able to secure childcare. 

It’s no surprise that this lack of support adds to the challenges of showing up for work and family life. If we want moms to succeed in the workforce, we need policies that prioritize recovery, bonding time, and a smoother transition back into work.

Is there a fatherhood penalty? 

And here’s where things get even more frustrating… While many moms face a penalty for becoming a parent, dads often experience a bonus. It’s called the fatherhood bonus. Yep, motherhood penalty, fatherhood bonus. And it's where men are viewed as more reliable, committed, and deserving of higher pay after becoming fathers. Maddening, right?

How parenthood affects moms and dads differently at work

When it comes to parenthood, the workplace definitely plays favorites. There's a huge disparity, because while dads are often rewarded for being seen as “providers,” moms are unfairly held back for being seen as “caregivers.”

Some of the differences show up through:

• The mental load: Moms often shoulder the invisible tasks of childcare and what’s going on in and outside of the home (appointments, ordering diapers, buying teacher gifts…) even while working full-time.

• Childcare expectations: Moms are often the ones expected to shift their schedules, reduce their hours, or even step away from work to manage family responsibilities. Meanwhile, dads are more likely to be praised for stepping in—often without the same career consequences.

• Gender inequality at work: Moms face assumptions that they’re less focused or capable, meanwhile dads get a boost to their perceived reliability and leadership potential.

• Caregiver bias: Parenting often gets pinned on moms in the workplace. This unfair assumption leaves women carrying the burden of proving themselves professionally even while their career growth takes a back seat.

Here’s the double standard: while moms face penalties at work for becoming parents, dads—and even childless men—often don’t. In fact, dads tend to see a boost in how they’re perceived, with higher chances of promotions and pay increases.

Meanwhile, moms face the opposite: lower pay, fewer opportunities, and added pressures.

Outdated norms still shape many workplaces, leaving women at a disadvantage simply for being a mom. 

How we can reduce the motherhood penalty

Of course, not all workplaces are clouded by these outdated beliefs. It’s incredible to see so many brands stepping up, women-owned businesses blazing trails, and companies realizing that doing right by working moms isn’t just the right thing to do—it’s good for business. Supporting moms means stronger teams, happier employees, and a healthier workplace culture.

But there’s still more work to be done. If we want true equality, we need to rethink how parenthood is valued—no matter who’s doing the caregiving. So what can we do to reduce the motherhood penalty and create real change? 

Policies that actually support working moms

Real change starts with policies that make it easier for moms to show up at work and at home. They're essentials that create a workplace where moms feel supported, valued, and able to succeed.

Here are a few policies that can make a real difference:

• Paid parental leave for all parents, not just moms

• Affordable, accessible childcare options 

• Flexible schedules that allow for adjusted start and end times

• Opportunities for remote or hybrid work 

• Return-to-work programs to support moms after extended leave

• Clear paths to promotions and leadership roles for working parents

• Equal pay policies to close the gender wage gap

Why workplaces need to do better for families

When workplaces do better for families, everyone benefits—today and for generations to come. Supporting working parents creates a positive work environment, and it also sets an example for the next generation. Kids who see their moms valued at work grow up understanding that caregiving and careers don’t have to be at odds.

By creating workplaces that truly support families, we’re shaping a future where equality at home and at work is the norm, *not the exception*.

Changing the way we think about working mothers

Moms aren’t less committed, less capable, or a burden to the workplace—far from it. We're leaders, innovators, and problem-solvers who bring unmatched strength and perspective.

It’s pretty amazing when you think about it: what moms do while raising their babies and working. Some pump in between meetings and still make it home for bedtime snuggles and stories after a long day. Some work from one end of the kitchen table, scooting to the other end to cut the crust off of their toddler’s PB&J at lunchtime. Others seamlessly move from a Bluey episode to a board meeting, and somehow hold it all together. 

When we stop underestimating moms and start recognizing their value—at work, at home, and everywhere in between—everyone wins. It’s undeniably a future worth working toward. 

 

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