Is it just me, or are you utterly confused on how to dress yourself?
Amidst the pandemic, the work-from-home norm, body changes from pregnancy and postpartum twice, and the general whirlwind of mom-life, I found myself retreating into the comfort of athleisure, while my “real” clothes gathered dust and grew outdated (hello stack of skinny jeans).
I tried to make sense of the latest trends by scrolling through social media, but the whole “yes to athletic sneakers with pants, no to cropped jean jackets” narrative left me even more disoriented. My closet was in desperate need of a refresh, and I really needed to find my style as a mom.
Look good, feel good
It's amazing how much our clothing can boost our confidence. When you feel good in what you're wearing, it often affects attitude, confidence, and the course of your day. Dressing to look and feel your best is a daily reminder of your self-worth, and I try to remember this every time I grab a new pair of cute sunglasses or opt for a new hairstyle.
Investing time and energy into how you look isn't just about following trends or spending copious amounts of money. I look at it as a form of self-care (which is why I created my 5-minute makeup routine!). When you consciously choose clothes that reflect your personality and lifestyle, you create a more harmonious and authentic version of yourself. So, even in the midst of mom-life chaos, remember that finding your style is a worthwhile investment in your self-confidence and emotional health.
How to define your personal style
I chose to tackle this issue systematically rather than impulsively. Fortunately, Allison Bornstein's new book, “Wear It Well,” became my guide. If you're in a style slump, grab this book – it's a game changer. She breaks down the nine universal pieces you need in your closet, even explains how to dress when you WFH.
The ‘three word method'
Perhaps Allison’s biggest claim to fame is her “three-word method.” It takes some reflection, on who you are and who you want to be, but it will help you simplify the formula to selecting what to wear. Your first word should define what your style is today, your go-tos, it’s where you find your comfort zone. Your second word is aspirational, it's where you want to strive for creativity. The third word defines how you want to feel, your desired lens of emotional draw.
How I define my style
This method helped me map out my style using these three words: ‘Minimal,' referring to my love for neutrals and simplicity; ‘Textured,' which is my nod to materials with dimension and fine detail; and ‘Effortless,' because who doesn't want to feel comfortable, chic, and relaxed?
Use instagram saves folders and pinterest
Now I needed to visualize what my three words actually translated to in style. So I turned to Instagram to find style icons whose fashion sense aligned with my ‘Minimal, Textured, Effortless' vibe. I saved their outfit ideas into a special folder for inspiration, remembering that my ideal wardrobe should compliment my life, not complicate it.
Some of my favorites include @leasy_inparis, @jordannasharp, @natalieborton, @_ssiana, @jodielapetitefrenchie, @thegraydetails, @lifewithjazz, @chloemaymcginley, and @ashleykane, amongst others. And while you’re at it, here’s some other moms I love to follow.
Alternatively, you can also take your three words and search for them individually or together on Pinterest to start curating a vision or mood board.
Wearing vs. styling: styling tips for busy moms
Wearing clothing is the simple act of putting clothes on your body. You grab a pair of jeans and a t-shirt, and you’re ready to go. On the other hand, styling clothing is about intentionally choosing pieces that express your personality, body shape, mood, or the statement you want to make. It's the art of coordinating colors, textures, and accessories to create a cohesive and eye-catching look.
For busy moms, styling might involve mixing and matching versatile pieces, adding an adorned belt or statement jewelry to elevate a basic outfit, or playing with layers to adapt an outfit for different occasions throughout the day. Essentially, while wearing clothing fulfills a functional purpose, styling it transforms getting dressed into a fun, creative expression of your individual style.
The two color rule
I swear by this rule, and funny enough, I even got my husband on board so he can better dress himself without my help! This concept originated from one of my favorite stylists, Jordanna Sharp, when I read her advice in a Byrdie article: “I always suggest having no more than two colors present in an outfit.”
By sticking to two colors, you simplify the choices in front of you in your closet for faster selection, and you instantly look put together (mom hack!).
Key pieces every new mom should own
Allison Bornstein recommends each woman own “nine universal pieces” in her book ‘Wear It Well' and I couldn’t agree more with her options. She provides styling examples and tips for how to select each item to meet your three words in her book. Here's a recap of key pieces every mom should own:
- White T-shirt
- Button-Down Shirt
- Black Turtleneck
- Cozy Sweater
- Blazer
- Denim (here’s a round-up of the best postpartum mom jeans)
- Trousers
- Belt
- Trench Coat
Throw on a belt for instant elevation
I love adding a belt to instantly elevate a simple jean and t-shirt or button up.
Jewelry makes an impact
Here are some of my tried and true jewelry staples:
- Lab-grown tennis necklace
- Madewell Filosophy Box Style Chain Necklace
- Simple gold chain necklace
- Paperclip chain necklace
Don’t forget about your bag
A bag should not only be functional, but it really can help pull your entire look together. Make sure it either creates balance (i.e. you are wearing an all white outfit, with black shoes, so wear a black bag to create top and bottom balance with black) or creates contrast (i.e. you are wearing a black dress with black sandals, so add a pop of color with your bag). If you're in the early mom years, this applies to diaper bags as well!
Transition pieces from day to night for maximum wear
Transition pieces are essential to any wardrobe, ensuring you can easily shift your style from day to night without having to completely change your outfit. Here are my favorites:
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Over the last couple of months I went from feeling lost in my own closet to building my personal style – which is still very much a work in progress. And here’s what I now know: your style is an extension of your identity, and learning to express it confidently is a powerful journey, much like the beautiful path of motherhood. So go find your mom style. It's worth your attention.
Keep up-to-date with what I'm wearing on my LTK page.
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